This week we are going to kick off a series about lessons I’ve learned from being a dad.  This week is about parenting, cleaning the house, and being flexible and adaptable when leading others.

When I was a kid and would help my family clean the house it would look like this.  My mom would blast music (usually Prince, Rod Stewart or Alanis Morisette).  With the music blaring we would all start jumping in and helping with little direction.  When I initially tried this approach with my own kids, it didn’t go so well.  In case I’ve never mentioned it, we have some neurodivergence in my house, so cleaning the way I did as a kid is EXTREMELY overwhelming for my kids.  The loud music is overstimulating and the lack of clarity on what needs to be done is anxiety inducing.  Trying to clean this way would result in everyone being overstimulated, grumpy, and the house not getting clean.  #failure

After failing a few times, I needed to reevaluate the situation.  At the end of the day, my goals are to get the house clean and to help my kids become more self-sufficient.  I’ve learned to be flexible in HOW I achieve those goals.  When I clean with my kids, we don’t play music to avoid overstimulation.  Also, I create a list of the tasks and add some gamification, so there is clear direction.  We don’t clean the house.  We save Hyrule! (a nod to The Legend of Zelda video game series)  My list might look like, “Beat the Water Temple aka Clean the Bathrooms for 50 points,” or “Straighten up Goron City aka The Kitchen for 20 points.” My kids then methodically work through the list, accomplishing tasks, and checking stuff off until the house is clean.  It’s very different from the way I grew up cleaning, but it is still very effective.

Where exactly is this going?  As a leader, it’s your job to enable the other people around you to be successful.  Often, this means being strict about the goal, but being flexible in HOW to achieve that goal.  Did my kids have to clean like I did in order to be successful?  No.  We found a way that works for them and enabled their success.  Think about work.  How often has a leader more or less forced you to do something their way, even though it wasn’t the only path to success?  What were the consequences of that?  When I’ve had those experiences, I’ve often felt disengaged and often saw how more value could have been provided if the leader would have just been a little more open to thinking differently.

The challenge: As a leader are you being adaptable and flexible enough to enable others to be successful?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry