Analyzing our Processes and Habits (1-13-21)

Last week was about choosing our one word or phrase to set our north star for the year.  This week is about examining our habits and processes to see if they could lead to our north star.  This entry is inspired by the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. 

If I’m going to EMBRACE this year, I also need to EMBRACE the right habits and processes to get the results I’m looking for.  For example, if I’m going to be healthier this year I need to look at my habits and processes as they relate to nutrition.  If I continue doing exactly what I’m doing now will I be healthier in 2021?  The answer is no.  Since that is the case, what is the disconnect, the root cause of potential failure?  What change will you need to make to be successful?  After reflecting I realized it’s too easy for me to make unhealthy food choices if I haven’t meal prepped ahead of time.  This year I’m making meal prep one of my focuses.  By changing that one process, I’m not eating better and making fewer poor choices. 

How does this apply to work?  We could all benefit from taking some time to reflect on our habits and processes.  In the above example, I applied this to overall health.  We can apply this thinking to softer skills too.  When is the last time you stopped to truly reflect and analyze the habits and processes that make up your leadership skills?  If you continued doing everything you are currently doing would you become the type of leader you want to be in 2021?  If no, why not?  What is the root cause?  Why aren’t you becoming the leader you want to be?  What change will you need to make to become this leader? 

Last year I did some reflection and realized that if I wanted to be a better leader, especially in my role in the Alliance, I needed to do a better job of casting a vision and how we will get there.  I called this “laying the tracks” and that became my phrase for 2020.  I overinvested time in making sure I was slowing down to identify/communicate a clear vision, lay out the right milestones, and bring the right people in along the way.  This took A LOT more effort than I was used to, especially because I had to navigate across the two companies.  However, this effort paid off ten-fold when things went smoother than they had the year before.  I’m still not perfect, but I am so much improved, because I took the time to analyze my leadership skills and identified ways to get better.

The challenge: Will you reflect on your habits and processes to reach your north star?  How will your habits and behaviors need to evolve for you to become the leader you want to be?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Rebooting 2021: What is your one word for the year?

Happy New Year!  We are going to kick off the year with a series about rebooting ourselves for 2021.  We will start by reflecting to find our one word or phrase to be our north start this year.   This blog is partially inspired by a conversation I had with Bronson Hayes at the end of 2020.  Thanks my man.

One of the practices I go through at the beginning of the year is taking time to reflect on and choose a word or phrase that will be my north star for the year.  To get there I ask myself things like: What went well?  Where could things have been better?  What do I want to achieve?  How do I want to feel about things?  Here’s a blog with more ideas on how to identify your one word. 

This year my word is EMBRACE.  As I reflected on last year, I realized I allowed myself to believe I was more powerless than what I really am.  I found myself feeling small instead of leaning in.  This year, I need to be different.  My family needs me to be different.  My team needs me to be different.  This year instead of shrinking away I need to lean in and EMBRACE everything and everyone that comes my way.  By EMBRACE, I mean that I will actively try to wrap my arms around things.  I will EMBRACE moments and lean in, even if I’m scared and unsure.  I’ll EMBRACE the suck and the crappiness for what it is.  I’ll EMBRACE the process for the results.  I will EMBRACE the people, and I will hug and hold them so hard they will feel the love through their computer screens.

How might this connect with us?  I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that sometimes it is easy to get lost in the variety of goals I set for myself.  Over time, I’ve learned that the clearer the vision I have for where I am going, the more likely I am to reach my destination.  Having this north star helps me move in the right direction and tends to ensure I take care of all the other meaningful things in the process.

The challenge: What is your one word or short phrase for the year?  What is your north star? 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

I Hope We Grow like The Grinch (12-16-20)

This week will be the last blog of 2020.  If you’ve been on this distribution list for a while, you might recognize that I usually end the year with this entry.  I feel it is just as relevant now as it was in years past.  Besides, we watch the same holiday specials every year, so we can revisit the same holiday themed blogs, right? 😉  For our final blog of the year we will look at How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

During this holiday season I hope we are all like the Grinch.  Pretty strange thing to say, right?  Let me explain why I feel this way.  You may know the story of the Grinch.  He is a grumpy creature who decides he will try to steal Christmas from the Whos  He concocts an elaborate scheme and then steals all of the presents, decorations, etc. in an effort to ruin their holiday.  This negative attitude is what we often associate with the Grinch, but this isn’t the end of his story.  The Grinch grows as a character, and life is all about growing, changing, and becoming better.

The Grinch has stolen the gifts, and then he hears the Whos singing.  All of a sudden it hits him right as his sleigh full of gifts starts to go over the cliff.  “And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!”  He saves the gifts from falling over the cliff, rides into Whoville, and serves the roast beast at the feast. 

The reason I hope we are all like the Grinch this year is because he grows and becomes a better person.  He begins filled with apathy, malice, and grumpiness, and then he allows love in and it fundamentally changes him.  How have you changed and grown this year?  Wherever you are right now, we have the chance to be better.  Imagine how different the world be if all of our hearts grew like the Grinch’s. 

Here is to all of us knowing what it feels like when our hearts grow three sizes in a day. 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Jingle Jangle and Dreaming

This week is about Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey and continuing to dream.  Minor spoiler alert.

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey is a new holiday special on Netflix.  It has a great cast, awesome music, and a story that gives you all the feels.  The film is about an inventor, Jeronicus Jangle, who dreams of the most amazing and beautiful toys.  He then makes those dreams a reality and builds the most imaginative toys and gismos of all time that bring joy to people of all ages.  If you’ve watched any movies you know there needs to be conflict, so you can imagine what happens.  Something occurs and he loses this ability to dream big and loses his ability to create these amazing inventions.  The rest of the story is about losing this and trying to repair it again.

What does this have to do with anything?  2020 has been a hard year for everyone.  I don’t know about you, but when I’ve been hit with hard times this year I’ve felt myself retreating.  I’ve shifted from being in a world to thrive to trying to merely survive.  When I’m in this survival mode, it’s about self-preservation and finding ways to make it to the next day.  This is understandable and okay.  At the same time, I’ve found that when I’m stuck in this mode I don’t dream.  I don’t imagine.  I don’t dream as much.  I don’t see a world filled with possibilities.  Instead, I see a world of scarcity and fear around every corner.  Seeing a world of fear and scarcity makes me shrink and be smaller than I am.  As we start to move toward 2021, I wonder what we will be like.  Mainly, I wonder if we will all start to dream a little more again.  I hope we dream more, small dreams, big dreams, bright beautiful dreams, and then I hope we make them a reality. 

The challenge: Will you dare to dream?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

An Open Letter to 2020

Dear 2020 | bedroomsoliloquies - YouTubeHappy Wednesday,

The year is coming to a close and I find myself in a reflective mood.  Below is my open letter to 2020.

Dear 2020,

I have so many feelings right now as you come to a close.  Scratch that.  I have so many conflicting feelings that I’m still sorting out.  I wonder who you have shaped me to become.

  • I have never cherished health and loved ones as much as I do now.  Thank you for that.
  • I feel blessed I had another year with my family.  My daughters are growing up, and I’m so happy to see their imaginations are still wild and free.  My wife is closer to normal.  These women are my sunshine, and you solidified that for me this year.
  • I feel blessed, because in the grand scheme of things, I’ve been fortunate enough to not have my entire life destroyed by a pandemic.
  • I feel guilty that somehow I have a life that was inconvenienced by COVID while others live a life that became broken.  I’m not more special than the people whose lives were destroyed.
  • I feel angry.  You brought health problems to my wife and those are months I lost and won’t ever get back.  I’m still not over that or the worry she might never fully get to 100% 
  • I can’t decide if I’m proud or disappointed about work this year.  There is pride in great work and there is pride in sometimes just managing to keep moving forward through the challenges even when the result isn’t perfect.  At the same time, I sometimes feel like a failure because I didn’t hit the goals I set for myself.
  • I feel exhausted.  At the end of 2019 I said, “There is no way that 2020 could be crazier.” #wrong.  There were more obstacles than I could count  I’m tired of it, all of it, and pray I can gain energy back. 
  • I don’t know if I’m better at forgiving myself and giving myself grace, but you gave me more practice than I’ve ever had.  One day that will turn into something.
  • I feel stronger, because you didn’t break me.  The pandemic didn’t break me.  My wife in the hospital, while I tried to balance taking care of her, loving my girls, and doing work didn’t break me.  The constant obstacles at work didn’t break me.  The exhaustion didn’t break me.  Feeling disconnected from others didn’t break me.  I am bruised, not broken.  I was weak and continually fell short.  I embraced the fact that I’m human, and am coming out of this loving others harder than I have before.
  • Even though I feel stronger, I’m still not at peace.  The strength came at a great cost, and one that I didn’t pay as much as others.  I still don’t know how to feel about all of this.
  • I feel loved by so many people, and I can’t be thankful enough for that.
  • You were so many things that I can’t really figure out what you were and how to feel about you yet.  I only hope I take whatever I learned from you into a 2021 filled with new possibilities.

Those are some of the thoughts that continue to swim around in my head.  Some of yours might be similar and some of them might be radically different.  Whatever you are feeling is okay.

The challenge:  If you haven’t taken the time, take a few moments to reflect on 2020 and the lessons and emotions it gave to you this year.  How will these shape you moving forward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Showing Thanks and Appreciation (11-18-20)

Last week was about pumpkin spice and letting people love what (and who) they love.  This week is about saying thanks and showing appreciation.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and it’s likely to be very different from past Thanksgivings.  This causes me to reflect and be even more thankful than I have in the past and more aware of the blessings and people I’ve taken for granted.  I am so fortunate to have amazing people in my life.  It’s been a crazy year, and I know I wouldn’t have made it this far without my friends and family who helped care for me and my family through everything.

You might be wondering where this is going.  During the holidays we often focus on being thankful for blessings, friends, and family.  I think this Thanksgiving we can make an effort to be thankful and show appreciation to our colleagues as well.  Recently I read this article about how remote workers want appreciation from their leaders more than ever.  With everything going on right now, individuals tend to feel more undervalued than they ever have before both at work and at home.  Have you felt that way this year?  I’m guessing it’s safe to say we all have, as we’ve adjusted to so many new normal and constantly burned the candle at both ends trying to navigate life and work.

While the article points out this issue of feeling underappreciated, it also points out possible solutions.  Doing simple things such as telling people thank you and that you appreciate them could go a long way to helping them feel valued.  This small act doesn’t take a lot of time and effort, but it can have a HUGE impact.  What are you thankful for?  Who are you thankful for?  Have you told them lately?

The challenge: Reach out to someone today and let them know how thankful you are for them and how much you appreciate them.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Pumpkin Spice and Letting People Love What They Love (11-11-20)

Last week was about trying something new and making Halloween costumes.  This week is about pumpkin flavored things and letting people love what they love.

As soon as it gets close to fall, the pumpkin announcements begin.  You know what I’m talking about.  The announcements from all the restaurants about all things pumpkin spice.  Pumpkin spice lattes.  Pumpkin custard and ice cream.  Pumpkin flavored beer.  All of a sudden, pumpkin is EVERYWHERE!  Once those announcements start, there is another wave that comes.  That wave is the wave of hatred for all things pumpkin and for the people who love pumpkin flavored things.  It sounds like this, “Pumpkin is gross!  Why in the world would you want pumpkin in your drink?  Why would you ruin good ice cream with pumpkin spice?”

What does this have to do with anything?  I personally don’t like pumpkin flavored anything.  At the same time, if that’s your thing, you do you.  One of my main philosophies in life is that as long as the thing doesn’t hurt the person or other people, let folks love what they love.  If you are a person who goes pumpkin wild in the fall, go get it in!  Life is too short to miss out.  If you have some other fall thing you love, go get that too.  Just don’t waste your time hating on the people who do love pumpkin spice.  (All of this also extends to people decorating for Christmas.  If you want to put those up now, enjoy!  If you like to wait until after Thanksgiving, that’s cool too.)

Now, while this all is kind of silly because we are talking about pumpkin spice, can you see how it applies to other things?  Have you ever judged someone because of a passion that they had?  Have you ever looked at someone who believed something different than you (that didn’t really matter or negatively impact anyone) and judged them for it?  I know I have.  I know I can be better.

The challenge: Can you let people love what they love?  More than that, can you be excited for them finding what they love?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Trying New Things and Making Halloween Costumes (11-4-20)

Last week was about hoodies and psychological safety.  This week is about being brave enough to try something new.

One of the fall holidays my girls look forward to every year is Halloween.  I hope yours was spooktacular!  This year, my girls decided that they wanted to be characters from Hollow Knight, a dark and mysterious video game about creepy bug creatures.  While my girls were super excited to be Hollow Knight characters, my wife and I were hesitant.  We normally buy costumes, and there weren’t costumes you could buy.  They don’t exist.  My wife decided to do something she had never done before.  She decided to make them.  Diane did research online, found patterns, bought foamboard, and went to work making the masks.  My girls loved them and the neighborhood kids thought it was so cool that my daughters were Hollow Knight characters.  My girls also felt cool, because they were like part of a small club of people in the know, since most people had never heard of this video game.

What does this have to do with anything?  When it comes down to it, the effort my wife put in made the night for everyone.  She didn’t have to do any of this.  The moment she realized we couldn’t buy costumes, she could have said no and that we will have to be something else.  She could have been too afraid to try something new.  She could have been intimidated by trying to reach perfection, and decided to not even make an attempt.  However, she didn’t let any of this stop her.  She rolled up her sleeves and gave something a try.  She created something awesome that filled our hearts with joy.

How many times do we hesitate when we are asked to do something new?  How often do we get worried about having to be perfect?  How often do we stop because we aren’t sure we can do anything out of our comfort zone?  I know I’ve been hesitant to try something new in the past, and as a result I missed out on opportunities that could have been incredible.

The challenge: Will you lean forward and try something new?

Side note, if you have a PS4 membership, Hollow Knight is the free game this month.  I’d suggest you check it out 😉

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Hoodies and Psychological Safety Part 2 (10-30-20)

A couple of individuals sent me comments about my recent blog about hoodies and psychological safety.  They caused me to do some deep reflection, so I wanted to share that with you.   We will continue to think about hoodies and psychological safety, and how just because psychological safety exists for one person, it does not mean it exists for ALL people. 

Here is a response from someone who read the blog from Wednesday.  “When I first read the title and the beginning, I thought you were going to talk about the unfortunate fact that many black men can’t and don’t feel safe wearing a hoodie because they are judged/viewed a certain way if they do (e.g. Trayvon Martin, etc.) which compromises psychological safety.”Here is another response, “After the death of Trayvon Martin, the hoodie double standard emerged. So much emotion, rhetoric, and rules about wearing an object of clothing. While I still love my hoodie, I no longer wear it out of the house without thinking about my privilege. No one looks twice at a middle aged white person in an oversized hoodie walking their dogs at night.”Both comments are insightful and worth exploring.  As a straight middle-aged bald white guy, I can wear a hoodie and feel safe.  I can wear a hoodie and not have any problems.  As I’ve reflected, not everyone has that privilege.

How does it all connect?  As a majority group member it is easy to say, “We are all just people, so if I’m psychologically safe you are too.”  Nothing could be further from the truth.  While we are all people, we are all experiencing life in unique ways because of our dimensions of differences.  Something I’ve continued to learn is that just because I feel psychologically safe, it doesn’t mean the same situation is safe for others.  Just because I’m included, doesn’t mean others feel included.  This idea links back to the first blog post about hoodies and psychological safety, and how important it is to be intentional when you are creating safe environments.  It’s not enough to create safe environments.  You also must be thoughtful regarding who those environments are safe for.

The challenge: Are you recognizing your position and your privilege?  Are you building environments where EVERYONE can feel safe, valued, welcomed, trusted, and cared for?

Bonus video- “Are hoodies dangerous for black men?” Perspective worth thinking about to challenge the biases we have.

Have a jolly good day and have a safe Halloween,

Andrew Embry

Hoodies and Psychological Safety (10-28-20)

When I was 16 someone gave me an Aeropostale hoodie.  20 years later, it is one of my favorite pieces of clothing to wear despite the imperfect frayed edges of the sleeves and gentle wear and tear it has.  It’s a great piece of clothing, because there’s something special about putting on a hoodie in the fall.  It’s like wearing warmth and comfort, and we need that as the year gets a little colder and darker with each passing day.  This warmth and comfort is created by the loose fit, the thick cotton to keep you warm, and having a pouch to put your hands in.  It’s the perfect outfit to be comfortably and confidently me.  The pic is the hoodie with my favorite ninja turtle from 2 years ago.

What do hoodies have to do with psychological safety?  Psychological safety allows all employees to work in an environment without fear of being insulted, judged, or marginalized due to stereotypes or biases. People will only share their diverse ideas, experiences, knowledge and insights if they feel safe.  Have you ever been on a team where you had psychological safety?  What did it feel like?  For me, it felt warm, comfortable, and welcoming just like settling into a hoodie on a crisp fall night.  Have you ever been on a team where you didn’t have psychological safety?  What did that feel like?  On the best days it felt like wearing a t-shirt made of hay, where something is always scratching you and making you uncomfortable and anxious.

Here’s the thing, the hoodie didn’t give me those feelings by accident.  It’s intentionally made to create feelings of comfort and safety with everything from the overall shape of the garment to the material used to the size and design.  In a similar way, creating psychological safety doesn’t happen accidentally.  Psychological safety is intentionally created by actions you take to ensure people feel welcomed, heard, respected, and valued.  Here is a link with tips you can take to create psychological safety- https://leadingwithtrust.com/2018/10/14/50-practical-ways-to-build-psychological-safety-in-your-team/

The challenge: What actions are you taking to create psychological safety?

I stand in solidarity against injustice and in support of humanity.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry