Parenting, Indoor Rock Climbing, and Modeling Behavior (4-13-22)

Last week was about Legos and seeing more than imperfections. This week is about rock climbing and leading by example.

A few months ago, my family went to Hoosier Heights, an indoor rock-climbing place that has bouldering (free climb) and auto-belay systems where you can clip in and climb more vertically. As we were driving over there, we thought the kids would be excited. Turns out, the place got a little crowded, the kids got anxious, and were too afraid to climb. It looked like a doomed adventure, until my wife nonchalantly went over to the auto belay area, clipped in, and started climbing. The girls watched, saw how much fun she was having and that it was totally safe. I climbed a couple of times too as the girls watched. Finally, they decided they wanted to try. They were still scared. However, they had seen us do it, so they were brave enough to try. At first, they got about 2 feet off the ground. We celebrated and encouraged them. They kept climbing and sometimes we climbed beside them. Eventually they were getting about halfway up the wall (6 or so feet up). They never made it to the top but going further than you ever have always beats not attempting.

What does this have to do with anything? I’m convinced that the only reason the kids tried climbing is because my wife casually modeled bravery and what to do. My wife didn’t make it a huge production. She didn’t give some moving speech. She just stepped in and demonstrated what to do. I then followed her lead. Eventually, the girls did too.

In many ways this makes me think of leadership. As a leader, you’re often going to be in situations where people are a little bit nervous/anxious/confused. They might be paralyzed. The best thing for you to do is lean in and model what the behavior looks like. Even if you don’t have official authority, your actions set the tone and trajectory for your team and your culture. If you want a team that values people, model what that looks like. If you want a team that values vulnerability, model what that looks like. If you want a team that values transparency, model what that looks like. If you want a team that values trying new things, model what that looks like. People will follow your lead, so you need to ensure your behavior is worth emulating.

The challenge: What behaviors are you modeling?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lego Jeeps and Seeing More Than Imperfections (4-6-22)

This week we are going to start a series about lessons I’ve learned being a dad. We’ll start with building Lego Jeeps and seeing more than imperfections.

Alice (10) loves Legos. She’s built all kinds of cool things over the years. For Christmas she received a set to build a Jeep. The set had hundreds of pieces and was pretty tricky to put together. She basically locked herself in her room for a couple of days and didn’t come out until it was completed Alice was so excited and proud of herself. She rushed downstairs to show me. Now, I’m not proud of what I’m about to say. The first thing I did when I saw it was comment on how one of the wheels wasn’t right. That’s right. I ignored her enthusiasm. I ignored how hard she worked. I ignored that she managed to do something very difficult 99% correctly. Instead, I focused on the 1 thing she missed. Not going to lie, it kind of crushed her a bit, and then I was sad because I made her feel that way. After I realized what I had done, I apologized and switched gears to make sure she understood how excited and proud of her I was. After she understood that, we worked together to rebuild the wheel. By the end of the conversation, she felt better than when I initially crushed her heart.

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever been Alice at work? I know I have. I’ve had things that I’ve worked on, been super excited about, and then brought them to someone only to have them point out all the flaws without acknowledging any of the effort that went into this. When this happened, I felt crushed. I felt like I hadn’t been seen. It also made me wonder if I really wanted to share things with that person again if they were going to crush it right away. To be clear, I’m not saying we should avoid giving criticism. What I think we can do a better job of is seeing the progress and effort vs. only focusing on imperfections. If we can recognize the initial effort and progress first, then I think it opens us up to have a more honest and meaningful conversation about where we can make progress and address flaws.

The challenge: How can we better balance recognizing progress vs. focusing on imperfections?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Quarterly Reviews in Business and Life (3-30-22)

This is a one-off entry about quarterly reviews in business and life.

It’s hard to believe that the end of Q1 is tomorrow. The first quarter is always integral to the success of the year for a few reasons. First, the momentum generated in Q1 is often what carries the business to its goals for the rest of the year. Second, if things aren’t quite going as well as the company hoped they would there is still time to make changes. With this in mind, the moment Q1 officially ends, businesses across the country will begin analyzing their books to see how they are doing. They will calculate sales and growth. They’ll look at selling, general, and administrative expenses. They’ll look at their investments and evaluate ROI. As they perform these calculations, they’ll ask 2 simple questions. How are we tracking toward our goals? Are we investing our resources wisely? From there, they will adjust things as needed.

What does this have to do with anything? What if we applied the quarterly review process to our own lives? What if we spent just a few minutes asking ourselves the two questions outlined earlier (How are we tracking toward our goals? Are we investing our resources wisely?) If you paused a moment to do this, what would you find out about yourself? How might you adjust things?

The challenge: Will you take the time to do a quick quarterly review? What adjustments will you make after doing one?

Bonus: Here is my mini-quarter review based on the dimensions in my life I set goals for. Sharing in hopes that it might spark your reflections.

Career- (B+) The goal is to feel mastery and magic in my role. I’m tracking toward that, but not there yet. Q1 was a hard grind, but I’m feeling good about things and have momentum taking me into Q2. I’ve learned a heck of a lot and contributed in meaningful ways. As I look at Q2 I know my personal career success will hinge on my ability to prioritize and on my ability to take care of myself (Physical Health) so I can perform. On the prioritization front, I’m blocking 2-5 every Friday to make sure I pause, plan, and prioritize. Each week I’ll focus on 3 things I HAVE to get done.
Physical Health- (C+) The goal is to get stronger and feel energetic. I’m a bit of a mixed bag with this goal. I’m on track with my goal of completing an obstacle course race every quarter with one done in January and one coming up in May. That’s a huge positive. However, while I’m doing good on the physical activity front, I had about a month during the meeting cycle timeframe where my nutrition and sleep were non-existent and I didn’t do the things I needed to do to process stress. I have to do a better job on those fronts. For me this all comes down to finding and sticking to a routine.
Financial- (B) The goal is to hit our savings/investment targets. Things are going well here. I’ve found that if the money isn’t in my account I can’t spend it. Every year we do a lump sum save, so we can hit that goal. The majority of the money we plan to save for the year has already been moved into the right accounts/investments and my financial advisor is telling me I’m in good shape. With that said, we can do better by not spending money on all the small things that quickly add up.
Family- (A) The goal is to feel like I’m being an amazing husband and dad. I feel I’m doing great in this area. I’ve been really focused on being present and patient in all things. I feel I’ve made some great improvements here. As a bonus, my wife and I have date nights set up for the rest of the year, which is awesome! Side note, you know you’re married with younger kids when your date nights often turn into going to a bookstore, picking up Yats, going on walks, and just low key chilling with no responsibilities.
Fun/Social- (A) The goal here is to plan and take all my vacation days. All of my vacations are booked for the year! Almost everything is planned. I just have to go on them now!

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Super Mario, Warp Pipes, and Looking for New Ways of Doing Things (3-23-22)

Happy Wednesday,

This is the last entry in our Super Mario series. We started with Super Stars and how we aren’t always invincible. We looked at Luigi and being brave enough to face fear. We thought about leveraging strengths and being curious about each other. This week is about Super Mario, secret warp zones, and looking for different ways of doing things.

The original Super Mario Brothers game was a simple side scrolling game. When I first played the game as a little kid, I assumed that I would need to fight through EVERY single level. The layout and design for the first level made it clear that the screen would scroll in one direction and that I needed to reach the flag at the end of each level to complete it. I ASSUMED I would need to repeat this process over and over and over again. However, I was wrong. If you kept your eyes open and tried new things, you could find hidden passages aka warp zones that could enable you to skip entire worlds. See the picture.

What does this have to do with anything? While work isn’t a side scrolling video game, it is a system comprised of standard rules, approaches, processes, and frameworks that we use daily. In some ways, all those things help us move faster. However, sometimes, those things become programming that we start to follow without realizing it. Similar to my experience with Mario, we get so used to the way things are designed that we don’t question if those rules, approaches, processes, and frameworks are always the best ones. One of my mantras is “There is always the hidden option.” It doesn’t mean that I necessarily know what the hidden option is. It doesn’t mean that the hidden option is always best. Instead, it’s a constant reminder that I shouldn’t allow myself to become so comfortable in the status quo that I stop searching for something better. Who knows if exploring a little bit outside of the status quo might help us find our own warp zone to better serve our customers?

The challenge: Will you break the status quo and keep your eyes open for a new way of doing things?

Bonus real world example: Last fall I had A, B, C workstreams I wanted to work on in parallel. I was told that our processes dictated that I only do one at a time, so I’d have to do A then B then C. Doing the projects in this way was the standard approach, but it would also add weeks to our timelines and make us miss our deadlines. Instead of accepting this, I researched the process. I realized technically we could work on A, B, and C simultaneously, even though we normally didn’t do it that way. I called the person who owned the process, explained the situation, and how we could work on A, B, and C at the same time and still be compliant with the process. They basically said, “That’s different, but you can still do it. I just need you to email Bob and then make a note in the system about this, so we remember.” All of a sudden, the things that couldn’t be done because of the process were now being done. We were able to work on A, B, and C to hit our deadlines, and all I ended up doing was researching a process, having an extra conversation, and sending an email. It was about 30 minutes of work to shave weeks off our timeline. It’s all because I kept my eyes open for the hidden option when I hit a wall, and I found that warp pipe to get us to where we needed to be.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Shy Guy and Allowing Ourselves to be Curious (3-16-22)

Last week was about leveraging our strengths and the strengths of others. This week is about Shy Guy and allowing ourselves to be curious.

Shy Guy is a relatively minor side character and Super Mario enemy. See the image. A few years ago, I stumbled across an image of Shy Guy and I paused. This character I had known since I was a little kid, now had piqued my curiosity. There was something intriguing about a character wearing a mask and robe. As I looked at him, I began to wonder. What is his story? What are some of his favorite memories? How does he feel about things? As I explored my curiosity, I began to write different things. “Shy Guy doesn’t talk much but has journals full of sweet love poems.” and “Shy Guy wears a mask, so the world can’t see him snickering.” From there I began to write poems further exploring who he is. As I did this, I quickly realized this quirky character had more depth than I ever imagined. (Poems are at the bottom of this blog if you’re intrigued.)

What does this have to do with anything? I gave myself permission to be curious about Shy Guy and it led me to explore and better understand a character I had never given a second thought to. We live in a world focused on speed and rushing, which often interferes with our ability to slow down and be curious. Imagine what would happen if we gave ourselves permission to be more curious about our work and the people we work with. Imagine how we would have a deeper appreciation for each other if we gave ourselves permission to spend a few more valuable minutes trying to understand someone’s story, their motivation, and the way they see the world. Imagine how much stronger our relationships would be. Imagine how much more beauty we would see.

The challenge: Are you giving yourself permission to be curious and explore?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Shy Guy Poems

Shy Guy and Soul Music
3 months. 13 days.
Shy Guy sneaks around his house.
Stealthy.
Silent.
He doesn’t want the curtains to know.
He pounces, shutting them.
The house entirely dark
he stumbles over furniture to find the light.
He curses as he trips.
He peeks outside one more time.
No one is watching.

He blows the dust off the record player.
Memories float up into the air with the dirt specks.

He thinks of his mother,
clutching his hand and his teddy.
Showing them how to twist.
The pearls around her neck
moving in time with the music.

Shy Guy has never been to church,
but is convinced this is soul music.
James Brown.
Funk starts hitting Shy Guy like a wrecking ball,
making the walls he built around himself crumble.

Slowly.
His foot starts tapping.
Slowly.
He smiles again.
Slowly.
He begins peeling back the curtains.

Andrew Embry 2010

Shy Guy Haiku 1

Mask over his mouth.

Hooded robe over body.

He tells no secrets.

Shy Guy Haiku 2

Black holes for his eyes.

Nothing escapes his strong gaze.

No words leave his mouth.

Shy Guy Haiku 3

Mario villain.

Koopa henchman is a monk.

Meek inherit earth.

(Shy Guy) Mask over Heaven

His blackhole eyes consume literary galaxies
with stars and the heavens swirling.
Gravity so strong words cannot escape him.
Not even these,
so fragile
with black ink so faded.
He puts down Milton for the night.

His fingers fiddle with folds of his fierce fire fleece hooded robe.
He places the book down on his nightstand.
His mask beside it.
His beads are already on the door
moving with the night breeze like purple butterfly wings.
With the cloister so quiet
he ruminates
on his own paradise lost.

Andrew Embry 2010

(Shy Guy) Unzipping Closed Secrets

He only speaks before bedtime.
Shy Guy whispers secrets into ziploc bags.
Presses his fingers hard together
sealing every last syllable in tight.

She receives the gift.
Shy Guy blushes burgundy in a white mask.
Surprise!
How can empty ziploc bags weigh so much?

Andrew Embry 2010

Super Mario Odyssey and Leveraging Strengths (3-9-22)

Last week was about Luigi and being brave. This week is about Super Mario Odyssey and leveraging strengths.

Super Mario Odyssey is one of the more recent Mario games. In this game you are able to throw your hat to “capture” enemies. Once you capture them, you become them and gain all of their abilities. For example, you might need to swim deep underwater. Mario can’t do that, because he has to breathe. However, if you become the fish enemy (see pic of fish in the middle) you can swim underwater indefinitely. On the other hand, maybe you need to fly. You could capture a flying goomba (see bottom middle of pic), and all of a sudden you have wings to get you where you need to go. The fish’s powers are awesome, but they won’t help you fly. Likewise, leveraging the talents of the flying goomba is cool, until you need to swim.

What does this have to do with anything? In order to be successful in this game, you have to leverage the strengths of different characters. We may not be able to throw our hats and capture the strengths of others, but we can make sure we are building teams that have people with different strengths. We can also make sure that we are putting people in situations that maximize their strengths.

Have you ever been in a role or situation at work that made the most of your strengths? What did that feel like? I love being in that situation. I find myself in flow states, where the work is hard, but it also feels effortless. My energy is limitless and my engagement is through the roof. I’m at the top of my game in those roles. Not only am I performing at a high level, but I’m doing it in a way that brings a little extra magic to the situation that has positive ripple effects across everything I touch. As a result, the organization benefits because it gets the most out of what I can uniquely provide. On the flip side, have you ever been in a role or situation at work that didn’t make the most of your strengths? What did that feel like? I’ve been there. It’s nowhere near as engaging. In fact, I’ve found those situations to be draining and frustrating. Sure, in those situations I’ve been able to do the work and perform, but there is a difference between being able to do the job and performing in a way that brings extra magic. In these situations the organization loses, because the value I provided in that role was nowhere near the value I could have provided in a role that leveraged my talents.

The challenges: Are you recognizing the strengths of yourself and others? Are you building teams filled with different people with different talents? Are you putting yourself and others in a situation where we can leverage our strengths?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Luigi, Fear, and Bravery

Last week was about Super Mario, Super Stars, and recognizing we can’t be invincible all the time. This week is about Luigi, fear, and bravery.

In case you aren’t familiar, in the Super Mario series, Mario (in red) has a brother named Luigi (in green). Mario is typically player 1 and Luigi is player 2. Mario is portrayed as a happy go lucky hero, always there to save the day. Luigi is typically portrayed as anxious, nervous, and afraid. He gets startled and scared easily. They both end up saving the Mushroom Kingdom and other kingdoms on their joint and solo adventures.

At the surface level, Mario is the hero we all want to be. He always seems to be confident and sure of himself, saving the day with a smile on his face. However, I’d argue that Luigi is actually the braver hero. Luigi is consumed by fear, yet he understands that his mission (saving the kingdom, his friends, and/or his brother) is worth fighting for. Luigi is terrified, AND he continues to step into scary and difficult situations in order to do the right thing. Luigi might be player 2, but he’s number 1 in my heart 😉 #smooth

What does this have to do with anything? Similar to Mario and Luigi, it’s easy to assume that bravery and heroism looks like the outwardly confident person who saves the day. However, this isn’t the only way to be a hero. Often, the real hero is the one who faces their own fears, their own personal demons, and keeps moving forward. This is the person who says, “This is going to be an uncomfortable discussion, AND I’m going to lean into it anyway.” or “I’m afraid of this challenge before me, AND I’m still going to tackle it.” Whenever you feel fear in your life, I hope you’re like Luigi. I hope you allow that feeling to wash over you, AND still find a way to take a step forward.

The challenge: How can you better embrace your inner Luigi to be brave in the midst of fear?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Super Mario, Super Stars, and Invincibility

This week I’d like to kick off a series inspired by the Super Mario Brothers video game series. This week is about Mario, Super Stars, and invincibility.

Super Stars have been a staple of many Super Mario Brothers games. Once Mario grabs a Super Star, he becomes faster and INVINCIBLE, able to run through bad guys and projectiles without taking any damage. The only problem is that the Super Star is NOT permanent. The moment you activate a Super Star you only have a few seconds before the effects wear off. While the Super Star might provide a temporary boost, it’s not enough to get you to your ultimate goal. Sooner or later you become vulnerable again. If you keep trying to run through bad guys and obstacles the way you did when you were invincible your character will get hurt and eventually lose. Once you’re vulnerable again, you have to engage with the challenges instead of being able to hide behind the mask of invincibility.

How does this connect with anything? Similar to Mario, I’ve had periods of time where I make myself invincible. I convince myself that I can’t be hurt. I convince myself I don’t get tired. I shut my mind off to anything unpleasant and just keep pushing forward running through anything and everything in my path. At the same time, I ignore all that is truly happening around me and the impact it has on me. Do you ever do this?

I don’t think invincibility is all bad. There are times when we need that Super Star invincibility. There are times when we need to just plow forward for short bursts to get through something. At the same time, we can’t be invincible forever. Sooner or later, we have to remove the mask of invincibility and engage with life’s challenges as vulnerable people.

The challenge: Do you accept that you can’t always be invincible? How will you embrace the challenges of life as a vulnerable human?

Confession: I don’t know about you, but life has been extra crazy lately. I feel I’ve been tapping into invincible star power to push through for a few weeks. Now, I can feel that invincibility fading. When I was younger, I’d ignore that sign and run myself into the ground. But now, I’m already trying to make mental space to slow down, regroup, rest, and figure things out. If you’re feeling like your Super Star power is fading out, I hope you make room to rest and recover too.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Remembering Your Strength to Move Forward (2-16-22)

Last week was about embracing the not so polished human side of things. This week is about remembering your strength.

While I had a lot of fun doing the Abominable Snow Race, it was also cold, challenging, and exhausting. At the end of the first lap I had spent 2.5 hours outside running/hiking and doing obstacles. I rested for a moment to drink water, eat food, change out of wet socks, and change my frozen gloves. This is when the tiredness set in. For a moment, I wondered if I had enough to go and complete the second lap. That’s when I told myself, “Dude, get up and go. You got this. You once ran a 5 hour marathon in 36 degree whether where it rained on you almost the entire time. You’ve spent the last few months waking up and running outside even if the temp/windchill is below zero. You’ve intentionally worked out on tired legs, so you’d be ready for this moment. You just finished lap 1. You know exactly what you are in store for, and you know you have the strength to do this. Go!”

What does this have to do with anything? Sometimes a challenge can seem daunting. Sometimes we get tired. This is when the doubt creeps in and we wonder if we have the strength to keep going. This is the moment when I want all of us to remember our strength. Throughout all of our lives we have a history of falling AND rising, of finding the strength to keep going. That’s what being human is. Remembering how our strength got us through one tough thing in life can give us the confidence to get through another.

Here are a few examples of this in action. When I get nervous about presentations (and yes this happens) I tell myself, “Dude, you get up on stage and perform poetry bars where people judge you as you share personal things with them. People have given you low scores and they don’t even know you. If you can survive that, you can survive any conversation with a senior leader about numbers and marketing.” When things get hard I look back to other roles and remember I did things in them that everyone had once told me were impossible. If I could do impossible then, I have the strength to do it now. When I’m stuck in a soul crushing situation going through zillions of annotations on a tactic, I remind myself that one time I ran/hiked in the snow while doing obstacles for about 5 hours, so I’ll probably survive this right now 😉

The challenge: When life gets hard, will you remember your strength?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

The Not So Polished Human Side of Things (2-9-22)

Last week we looked at giving yourself permission to not be perfect. Let’s continue that theme by giving ourselves permission to share the not so polished human side of things.

This is from lap 2 of the Abominable Snow Race. On the first lap I scaled the 8 foot wall like a pro. Not so smooth this time. I misjudged the distance, swung my leg incorrectly, and got stuck in a painful position. If you zoom in, you can see me dying on the inside from the pain or as my cousin said, “I can see your soul leaving your body.” It took me 30 seconds or what felt like 1 hour to shimmy my other leg over and slide down the wall. I was hurting. It was ugly. But I made it. #bestphotoever

Whether or not you’ve ever done an obstacle course race, we have all been in some version of this moment from the picture on the right. Everything is going smoothly, and then bam it turns painful and awkward in a heartbeat from a trip, stumble, or our minds just blanking. We’ve all been there. You can probably picture that moment in your mind right now. I hope you chuckle when you do. Sharing this story doesn’t make me look cool. It’s not a flattering photo. However, it is one way of showing I’m human. It is one way of helping us all connect to the fact that we are all human. I’d hope that by sharing something like this, it might make you feel a little comfortable sharing the human side of you whenever you’re around me.

What does this have to do with work? Have you ever been around a co-worker who only shows you the polished side of things? Have you ever been around a leader like this? I don’t know about you, but I have a real hard time trusting people like that. I have a hard time being open about my thoughts and feelings. If the leader never shows that they are human, how can I be expected to show that I’m human? Now, am I saying that everyone needs to share a painful picture of them getting stuck on an 8 foot wall? No. What I am saying is that it would be great if we all felt comfortable to share a bit of us that makes us human. This could mean sharing stories of our mistakes, flaws, joy, love, passion, and anything that gives an insight into who we are as people. These are the actions that create the environment where humanity can be shared.

The challenge: How are you sharing the not so polished human side of you? What are you doing to give people a place where it’s safe to show they are human?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry