Author: Andrew Embry

If you mixed diet mountain dew, funk music, dragons, hip hop, superheroes, and lightning in a blender you’d end up with Andrew Embry. He is part wordsmith and part alchemist, able to use his Batman utility belt to turn anything and everything into a story worth telling that is equal parts insightful, memorable, inspiring, humorous, and entertaining. Andrew is comfortably creative in almost any setting, but especially when he is performing spoken word poetry. His enthusiasm for words comes from the way he loves people and the little nuances of life that make it worth living.

Lessons from being a Dad Part 5 Blankets, True Function, and Value (4-19-17)

Last week was about keeping your eyes open for joy.  This week is about learning how to find different kinds of value in people and things.  We will explore this by thinking about blankets as they relate to keeping people warm, building forts, and defining value.  Overall, this is an entry about me being self-conscious about being valuable, so if you are ever there know you aren’t alone.

When I think of blankets I first think of their function.  Therefore, the value of a blanket is its ability to keep you warm.  However, kids don’t think about it this way.  To my daughters, a blanket can become a way to create a picnic space.  A blanket is a play mat for babies.  A blanket is also an important construction material for making forts.  A blanket can become a super hero cape, dance floor, boat to protect you from the lava, a matador cape, a hammock, etc.  When my daughters look at a blanket they value it for more than just its ability to keep you warm.

You might be wondering how this connects with work.  I’d like to share a story and then a connection.  Let’s rewind to when I just started in my role about 2.5 months ago.  People who know me, know that being goofy, offbeat, and constantly making quips and jokes is just what I do.  One day I made some joke and one of my teammates gave me a compliment, “I’m glad you’re on the team.  You’re bringing the fun factor.”  Sounds pretty good right?  It’s a really nice thing for someone to say, right?  The problem is I’m extremely self-conscious about providing what I have decided is “real value” to the team, so I respond by saying, “Thanks.  One day I hope to bring some actual value to the team.” (Jerk ungrateful move on my part).  Anyway, he responded, “Yeah, but the fun factor is value.  It’s worth something.”  That response made me stop and think.  I was so fixated on fulfilling what I thought my true function was that I discounted anything else I might have to offer.  I basically was saying, “I’m not providing the team any market research insights at this time, so I’m not worth much.”

Now think back to my daughters and blankets.  They value the blanket for many reasons beyond just its “true” function.  In my story, essentially the guy told me, “You make an awesome fort” and my response was to say, “Blankets aren’t for forts.”  The fact is there is value in building forts, because building forts is awesome!  There is value in using blankets as boats, capes, play mats, etc.  There is value in all of these things as well as the supposed “true” function a thing or a person is supposed to perform.  Bottom line: You are a blanket.  Yes, you keep people warm, but you do so many other things too.  I hope you understand how important all those other things you do are.  I hope you know you are valued and loved. 

The challenge: Do you see ALL of the value you provide?

Bonus:  Give recognition to someone today for the different value they bring to your team and your life.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from being a Dad Part 4 Keep your Eyes Open for Joy (4-12-17)

Last week was about the darker side of parenting, uber-competitive parents, and staying focused on what matters.  This week I want to bring us back to the light side with a focus on keeping our eyes open for joy and wonder. 

There is something special about the way young kids view the world.  I feel that little kids always have their eyes open looking for magic, joy, and something special.  If you want an example of what I’m talking about, just check out the picture.  A few Saturdays ago we all went to Menards to check out patio furniture and other things.  We were walking down the aisle when Violet saw the safety cones and got excited like she had found a long lost treasure.  Before we knew what had happened, she had a new hat and Alice had followed suit.  They were then posing and marching in their awesome new attire.  When Violet looks at the world, she always sees something worth paying attention to whether it’s the different colors on gas stations to how clouds look like animals. 

I don’t know about you, but when I see safety cones, I don’t automatically think hats.  It’s sad to say, but I feel as we grow up we slowly lose our ability to always search for joy and wonder.  Luckily for me, these two young ladies are helping me see the world as a much more interesting and beautiful place.

You are probably wondering how this connects with work.  Every day we work.  We see emails, spreadsheets, slides, meetings, people, etc.  It’s really easy to just see these things the way they appear to be.  It’s really easy to become numb and blind to them.  It’s easy to take them for granted.  It’s a lot harder to go into these each and every day with eyes that are looking for joy, beauty, magic, and anything else that might be good in this world.

The challenge: As we go through our days do we see the potential for joy in them the way Violet sees the joy in a safety cone?  What are some things you’ve seen lately that bring you joy?  (Write a list.  It always helps me see how beautiful the world can be.)

Have a jolly good day,                                                                                                                                                                         

Andrew Embry

Lessons from being a Dad Part 3 The Darker Side of being a Dad (4-5-17)

Last week was about competing vs. collaborating as it applies to my daughters.  This week I want to look at the darker side of being a dad.  Of course I’m talking about when parents unnecessarily compete against each other through their kids.  As we reflect this week, I want us to ask ourselves, “What really matters?”

I never knew how crazy competitive people could be until I had kids.  The very moment we had our first child, people started coming out of the woodwork.  The conversation basically starts with “Perfect Parent” saying, “I and/or my kid is doing A, B, and C, and if you aren’t doing those things you are a horrible parent or something is wrong with your kid.”  This applies to everything; even things I didn’t realize you could compete on.  For example, Perfect Parent would say that if you don’t breast feed you are a horrible mom.  Perfect Parent would want you to know that if your children aren’t eating all vegan all the time, then they are less than human.  Perfect Parent likes to remind dads that if their kids aren’t in the perfect outfit they are horrible fathers.  Perfect Parent wants you to know that their kid is involved in 50 activities and is too busy for non-value add activities like playing.  Perfect Parent likes to remind you that their kid is reading novels at age 5, and if your kid isn’t they are doomed to a horrible life.  Perfect Parent continues to do this with their child of all ages.

If you don’t have kids, you’re probably thinking the above paragraph was really stupid.  If you do have kids, you’re probably thinking, “Yep, that’s my experience.”  I’ve found that it’s easy to get swept up in all of this and start feeling like a horrible person who is ruining your child’s life because you aren’t doing “the right thing” or are not pushing them to do a million things.  Here’s the truth though.  99% of all that stuff, doesn’t matter.  If we are honest with ourselves, most of the time it’s parents focusing on stuff that in the grand scheme of things doesn’t matter in order to make themselves feel good.  In order to make sure I don’t get lost in this stuff as a dad, I need to start by deciding what’s really important.  For me there are 3 things I care about with regards to my kids: their health, them being good strong people (loving, generous, kind, thoughtful, independent, etc.), and them having grit/tenacity.  Those are the things I care about and the things I work on with my kids.  If your kid is a better reader or is smarter, that’s fine.  I’m happy for you and them.  At the same time, I’m not competing.  I’m not sitting around comparing my kids to yours.  I don’t need to get bent out of shape about those things.  My thought is that if my girls grow up and all they are is healthy, good strong people, and tenacious they will be pretty good people and I will have done my job as a parent.

Making connections.  Even if you don’t have kids, you’ve probably seen this play out in different places.  It’s easy at work for “Perfect Employee” to say, “You should be doing X, Y, and Z exactly like me or you’re not good.”  It’s easy to look around at others and say, “I need to be just like them and doing their things.”  On top of this, there are people throughout this company that are smarter than me, more talented than me, at a higher level than me, etc.  I don’t need to drive myself crazy competing with them.  Instead, I can be happy for them and focus on me and what I need to do.  Similar to being a dad, I’d argue the first thing we need to do is decide what is important, because a lot of that is stuff that just doesn’t matter.  What’s important to you depends on what you value and what your goals are.

The challenge: Are you getting lost in a competitive environment or are you focusing on the things that are really important?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from being a Dad Part 2 You are on the same team (3-29-17)

Last week was about reinforcing the “youness” of someone else.  This week is about competing vs. collaborating.  Competing plays out in a few ways at my house.  One way, Alice gets in trouble and then Violet comes over to remind me that she “Makes good choices and Alice makes bad choices.”  Another way is Violet sings a song and then Alice gets jealous and starts trying to sing over Violet.  The final way is that one of the girls goes out of their way to make sure they are noticed more than their sister.

When I see these competitive behaviors, I know that it’s not always malicious (but sometimes it is).  When we see this behavior, my wife and I always tell our girls the same thing.  “You two are not competing.  You are sisters.  You are on the same team.  It’s your job to look out for and help each other out.”  Sometimes when we have this conversation it’s like talking to two brick walls.  Sure they might not be fighting, but they are still working alone instead of together.  In this case, not much changes.  Sometimes though, on lucky days, when you can find rainbows, leprechauns, and unicorns we see small breakthroughs.  These are the days when Alice gets something for her sister that Violet can’t reach.  These are the days when Violet comes to tell us that Alice did something nice for her.  These are the days when Alice comes and tells us how great Violet is doing with her speech.  These are the days that melt my heart, the days when they are working together, holding each other up, and making sure their sister receives some love and recognition.

You are probably seeing some of the work connections already.  It’s easy to laugh at the stories of my girls competing.  It’s easy to laugh at Alice trying to sing louder than Violet or Violet telling us that she makes good choices, while Alice makes bad choices.  It’s easy to write this off as two young kids who are immature, but we’ve all seen stuff like this in our normal day to day life, right?  We’ve seen the person who tries to consistently outshine others.  We’ve seen the person who tries to remind you how much better they are than everyone else.  We’ve seen people who create an environment of competition vs. collaboration through their words and actions.  We’ve seen these things, and I’d argue we all commit these acts sometimes.  I know I have, and just like my girls sometimes we do these things on purpose and sometimes we do them unintentionally.   

On the other side of things like I mentioned my heart melts when I see my girls working together.  It’s one of the best parts of being a parent.  The thing is this happens at work too.  We’ve probably all seen true collaboration.  We’ve seen someone take time out of their day to truly partner with someone.  We’ve had people come up to us and say, “You probably didn’t see this, but Susie did X and that made a huge difference for the team.”  We’ve witnessed these things and done these things.  Just like for my kids, my heart smiles when I see this. (I know.  I’m kind of sappy).  My heart also feels better when I live this on a daily basis.  I’d imagine you feel better in a true collaborative environment as well.  We have enough external obstacles that make helping patients difficult, so we don’t need to compete against each other.

The challenge: “We are brothers and sisters.  We are on the same team.”  How often are you competing vs. collaborating?  What are you doing to help others see when they are competing instead of collaborating?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from being a Dad Part 1 Reinforcing your “Youness” (3-22-17)

This week I’d like to kick off a new series focused on lessons I’ve learned since becoming a dad.  In case you don’t know I have two girls, Alice (almost 5) and Violet (3).  They’ve taught me so much more than I’ll ever teach them.  This week is about reinforcing the “youness” of others.  “Youness” is a phrase I’m stealing from Lilly colleague Tony Brazelton and means “the stuff that makes you you.”

If you talk to Alice for any period of time she will boldly claim that she’s going to be scientist/inventor when she grows up.  This is part of her youness, part of what makes her light up, makes her tick, drives her, etc.  She considers this to be part of who she is.  For Christmas her favorite gift was a scientist lab coat.  See epic proud face.  The best day in her life so far was the day when she realized that mixing baking soda and vinegar created a volcano like explosion.  When we want to get her to try new foods we tell her that she’s conducting research and that we will record her findings and she tries stuff right away (#parentingwin).  This is heartwarming, but here’s the thing, I know that as she gets older she will receive pressure in various ways that will discourage her from wanting to get into science because of the fact that she is a girl. 

As a dad I want to help her with this pressure.  My thought is that I can do this in two ways.  First, I need to reinforce her youness with her.  I make sure I reinforce and praise who she is by saying stuff like, “Alice, you are a scientist.  You are smart.  You are curious.  Do you know what scientists do?  They test their ideas, they fail, and they try over and over again.  That’s you.  You are a scientist, and that is one of the things that makes you awesome.”  Besides reinforcing her youness with her,  I can reinforce her youness with others.  One small example comes from family members who want to buy her gifts for her birthday or Christmas.  Many of them assume that she’s really into dolls, because she’s a young girl.  I take the time to explain to them that dolls aren’t really her.  Then I try to reinforce what Alice is about by explaining that Alice is all about science, exploring, building, and figuring stuff out.  I tell them to think science kits, magnets, legos, etc.  This act helps them see Alice for who she is and what she has to offer.    

What does this have to do with work?  We all have our own youness.  At the same time, the world may not always appreciate our youness.  Have you ever felt that way?  Have you ever felt that what makes you you just isn’t appreciated?  On the flip side, how did you feel when people saw and reinforced your youness with you and others?  Reinforcing somebody’s youness doesn’t take a lot.  Often it just takes a few words at the right time.

Here’s a story from a previous role of a leader who reinforced a new teammate’s youness in a group setting.  I was in a meeting and it was the first time the team was coming together.  We had a new teammate, Susie (fake name real story) who had come to us from a brand that had fallen through.  If you know Susie, you know that Susie cares incredibly deeply for people.  It is part of what makes her her.  As Susie talked about her previous experience on that brand she talked about how big of a difference she thought they were going to be able to make in the lives of patients.  You could see that she truly cared for these people and that she was crushed things had not gone better.  As she tells the story, she starts crying a little bit.  Her crying created that moment (some would call it awkward) where everyone is silent.  Susie starts apologizing for being emotional and the leader says something like, “No need to apologize.  I see you.  I see your passion.  I see how much you care for people.  I need that.  We need that.  I hope you bring that with you to our team.”  The leader could have ignored it.  The leader could have just said, “It’s okay” and brushed off the emotion with some other statement.  Instead, the leader reinforced Susie’s “youness” with the team and Susie in a few simple statements that went a long way.  You could tell the leader’s few words had a powerful impact on Susie and also on the rest of the team.  A simple and profound leadership lesson I’ll remember.  I left that meeting saying, “I want to be like that leader when I grow up.”

Challenge: Are you reinforcing the “youness” of others?  Bonus->Take the time to reinforce the youness of someone today.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Dementors, the Patronus Charm, and your Why (3-15-17)

This will be the last in our Harry Potter series.  Over the past few weeks we have covered self-doubt and running out of magic, prioritization and golden snitches, and connecting with others and the power of a pensieve.  We will close out this series by focusing on fighting dementors with your patronus.

It is said that when dementors are around you, everything grows cold, dark, and sad.  Dementors are these dark shadowy creatures that suck the joy, happiness, and life out of people.  If you’re a muggle, you’re probably wondering how you combat a dementor.  You do this with the Patronus Charm, which allows the spell caster to shoot out a bright shining shield of positivity called a patronus.  A simple patronus will look like a white shining ball while a powerful patronus will often take on the form of some kind of animal.  In order for the Patronus Charm to work the caster must dig deep within themselves to find their hope, life, and brightness, flourish their wand, and exclaim “Expecto patronum.”  (Some of you are like, Expecto Patronum sounds like a fancy tequila.  If you weren’t thinking it.  You are now.  You’re welcome.)

So you’re probably wondering what this has to do with work.  When I mentioned that dementors suck the joy, happiness, and life out of people, did anyone or anything pop into mind?  If you’re anything like me, different projects, situations, and even some people popped into my head.  The fact is stuff happens at work and in life that drains us.  Sometimes life surrounds us with negativity and saps our strength.  When this happens we need to find the fuel for our patronus aka our happiness, our why, our reason for doing what we do.  The only way you can fight darkness and tough times is with some hope, purpose, and grit.  Once we find these things, we need to latch onto them, so we can fight back those dementors that try to suck the life out of us.  What’s your why?  What’s your reason that keeps you going through tough times? 

The challenge: What is your fuel for your patronus?  Will you be ready to shout, “Expecto patronum” when the dementors come?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

A Pensieve and Connecting with Others (3-8-17)

Last week was about prioritization and catching the golden snitch.  This week we are going to continue diving into the world of Harry Potter by reflecting on the powers of a pensieve and the idea of connecting with others.

A pensieve is a magical device that stores memories and allows others to view those memories from the person’s perspective.  Here is how the pensieve works.  A wizard uses their wand to pull a memory from their mind and then they place the memory in the bowl (the pensieve).  Then, the wizard and even other wizards can dive into the pensieve to experience that memory together.  The pensieve is used throughout the series as Dumbledore replays memories for Harry and others.  It gives other characters an opportunity to see things from the memory bearer’s point of view, giving them new insight and broader perspective.

What if we could do something like that?  Imagine for a minute how interesting this would be.  Imagine being able to step into the memory of another person to see what they saw in a given situation and to be able to experience what they experienced.  It would be pretty interesting.  Imagine how this could help you learn to appreciate them and what they go through.  Imagine how much this could broaden your perspective and you as a person.

So what does a pensieve have to do with work?  Obviously we don’t have the magic to jump inside the memories of each other.  However, we could still do something similar, because we have the power to empathize with each other.  We have the ability to connect more deeply with each other.  We can strive to do better empathizing with each other and understanding where each of us is coming from.  We have the opportunity to do all these things, but we don’t always take advantage of those opportunities.  If you’re anything like me, sometimes I just can’t find the time.  I get so busy focusing on the work that I begin to look past the people.  Sure I might chat with them from time to time, but I don’t always connect with them.  I know I can do better.  I don’t need a pensieve, I just need to be willing to put forth the time and effort. 

The challenge: Are you being intentional about connecting with others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Quidditch, Golden Snitches, and Prioritization (3-1-17)

Last week was about Hermione Granger, self-doubt, and running out of magic.  This week we are going to turn to quidditch for a lesson in prioritization.  In case you’re a muggle, allow me to explain Quidditch.  The game consists of two teams of 7 players who fly on brooms and try to score points.  There are 4 “balls” that are in play during a match.  There is one quaffle (a ball you grab and throw through hoops to earn points), two bludgers (enchanted balls that try to knock people off their brooms), and one golden snitch. 

The golden snitch is a small flittery ball that is enchanted to make is extremely elusive.  Capturing the ball is worth a lot of points and is the only way to stop the match.  Basically, capturing the golden snitch is the most important thing you can do in the game to achieve victory.  In order to catch the golden snitch, each team has a player designated as the Seeker.  The Seeker is a skilled flyer with a fast broom and their job is to avoid the other team and the bludgers in order to capture the golden snitch.  The other players work with the Seeker to help them achieve the goal.  You can click HERE to see this in action.  So you’re probably wondering what this has to do with prioritization.  As the paragraph states above, the golden snitch is the most important thing in the game.  This means that each team prioritizes its personnel, effort, skills, and strategies in a way that boosts their ability to capture the golden snitch.  If the team doesn’t prioritize golden snitch catching activities, then they will lose.

So what does this have to do with work?  In quidditch the golden snitch is clearly identified as the most important thing to achieve.  In the real world it doesn’t work like that.  Instead, it is up to the team to look at a very complex market in order to decide what is the most important thing the team must achieve in order to be successful.  Another connection is that just like quidditch, in the real world you are flying around in a crazy environment where bludgers (external forces) try to knock you off your focus while competitors fly all around you chasing goals.  You are forced to navigate an extremely complicated landscape, and it is up to you to prioritize the people, effort, skills, time, and strategies that will enable you to capture your golden snitch.  If you asked your team right now what the golden snitch is that your team is trying to capture, could they tell you?  If you asked them how their work enabled the team to capture the golden snitch would they know?  If I asked you what your golden snitch was, would you have an answer?  If you don’t know what your golden snitch is you can’t figure out how to catch it, which just leaves you fly around fast in circles.  Sure it might look impressive, but it’s not really getting anything done.  I’m sure we all have had that experience, right?  I know that I’m currently in the stage of messy confusion where I’m spending time trying to figure out what my golden snitch is so I can best catch it, so if you’re there too then you aren’t alone.

The challenge: What is your team’s golden snitch?  How are you prioritizing your efforts to ensure that everything is aligned to catching that golden snitch?  (If only it were as easy as “accio what should be my top priority.”)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Hermione, Self-Doubt, and Running out of Magic (2-22-17)

It’s time to go full on nerdtastic.  This week we will kick of a series inspired by Harry Potter.  Spoiler alert.  This series will divulge plots points and secrets.  You’ve been warned.  This week is about self-doubt and my fear of “running out of magic.”

In the Harry Potter universe, magic does not just stem from natural ability.  Instead, the power of your magic comes from your learning and practice.  That’s why they send people to Hogwarts to develop their skills.  I would argue that Harry Potter is one of the more naturally talented characters, but it is Hermione Granger who is the best wizard in her class.  She’s a studious bookworm who has built up quite the knowledge base and who puts a lot of effort into practicing, so whenever everybody’s back is against the wall she’s the one who knows what to do.  Obviously, her natural ability, wand, and other magical artifacts have a positive impact on her, but it is the combination of these with her work ethic that always helps her come out on top.

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with doubt.  I recently started a new role, and the team has given me a very warm reception.  Even with this, self-doubt keeps creeping in.  My current self-doubt conversation goes like this, “Andrew, what if you don’t meet their expectations.  What if you fail?  What if this is the role when you run out of magic?”  I’ve been stuck on that last phrase for a few weeks and then all of a sudden one day after I said, “What if this is the role when you run out of magic?” I replied with, “Forget that.  I’m going to be like Hermione Granger,” for all the reasons mentioned in the above paragraph. 

How does this connect to work?  I’m guessing you probably have these self-doubt fueled conversations.  If you’re anything like me, when you have these conversations you forget who you are and you conjure up these stories about how the only reason you are where you are is because of luck and because people haven’t figured out you’re an imposter yet.  Now don’t get me wrong, luck and other factors definitely play a role in success, much like how a wand plays a role in Hermione’s magic, but at the same time, it’s not all just because of luck.  You’ve put the work in.  You’ve pulled through in tough situations.  That same skill and tenacity that helped you be successful then will help you now.  These are the things I have to remind myself of when I’m filled with doubt and am afraid of running out of magic.

The challenge: How will you respond when you are afraid of running out of magic?  Remember this when you face self-doubt.  You aren’t here by accident.  You’ve put the work in.  You aren’t a muggle.  You are a powerful wizard.  Now go cast some spells starting with Accio confidence!

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Mindset and Influence (2-15-17)

This will be the last in the series about mindsets.  Over the past few weeks we’ve looked at how mindsets shape the way we view the world and how we can make an effort to change them (filmmaking) as well as mindsets with regards to where your confidence comes from.  We’ve thought about mindset and white space (box) as well as mindset and bending/breaking limits (The Matrix).  This week I want us to think about what we are going to do moving forward.  I want us to think about mindset and influence. 

I’ve been through a few leadership trainings and sooner or later we end up talking about authority vs. influence.  When we have this conversation the group usually ends up discussing two key questions.  What can you control?  What can you influence?  The facilitator is usually trying to drive people to understand that the only thing you can control is yourself, but there are things outside yourself you can influence.  I think those questions are great ones to get you thinking in the right direction, but they aren’t the end all be all.  “What can I influence?” is focused on current state.  In my current state, with my current skills, what can I influence? Instead of asking those questions, I would ask a different one.  “What are you responsible for trying to influence?”

How does this connect to work?  The way you answer, “What are you responsible for trying to influence?” shapes how you operate in life.  If you believe you are responsible for trying to influence anything or anyone that you touch then you will go out of your way to figure out how to do that even if you don’t currently have the answer and even if you are currently faced with limitations.  You will find ways to operate in white space, bend rules, and your eyes will always search for the hidden option.

I’d like to share a short story about Susie (fake name, real story).  Long story short, she was tasked with implementing a tactic in a short timeframe.  The people told her that it couldn’t be done, because the process would take too long.  Susie could have accepted this.  She could have said that she can’t influence a process, because it’s outside of her control.  Instead, she’s one of those people who believes that she is responsible for trying to influence anything and anyone she can touch.  Instead of giving up, she decided that there must be a way to fix the problem.  She started talking to people and hunting things down to figure out how to solve it.  24 hours after she was told no, she had found the right people to make it happen.  The tactic was changed and the thing that was impossible was all of a sudden accomplished.  My favorite part of this story is that when other folks heard about what she had done they were just like, “Yeah.  She’s just that awesome.  That’s who she is and what she does every day.”  Her belief that she is responsible for trying to influence everything she touches has manifested itself in her actions.  You’ve probably heard similar stories before.  The question is, how often is this story about you?

The Challenge: What are you responsible for trying to influence?  What does your mindset drive you to do?  What will you do differently moving forward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry