Author: Andrew Embry

If you mixed diet mountain dew, funk music, dragons, hip hop, superheroes, and lightning in a blender you’d end up with Andrew Embry. He is part wordsmith and part alchemist, able to use his Batman utility belt to turn anything and everything into a story worth telling that is equal parts insightful, memorable, inspiring, humorous, and entertaining. Andrew is comfortably creative in almost any setting, but especially when he is performing spoken word poetry. His enthusiasm for words comes from the way he loves people and the little nuances of life that make it worth living.

Hot vs. Cold- Thermodynamics and Inclusion (2-20-19)

This week I’d like to start a series inspired by lessons we can learn from science.  We are going to start with a loose adaptation of thermal dynamics, hot vs. cold, and inclusion.  Buckle up.  We’re about to get nerdy.

This is a bit of an oversimplification, but according to thermodynamics, heat is energy transferred from one thing to another.  As you transfer more energy to something it becomes hotter.  As you stop transferring energy to something it becomes colder.  The key takeaway is that cold is not a force.  Cold is an absence of heat, which is really a lack of transferred energy.

Imagine baking a pizza.  In order to bake it, you put it into a warm oven and it sits there in that heat for 15-20 minutes until it cooks.  During this time, the oven is consistently applying energy, so the pizza gets warm.  Now, let’s pretend you are baking another pizza.  This time you throw the pizza in and after 1 minute you turn off the oven.  You let the pizza sit there for a few minutes.  Then, you turn the oven on again for 1 minute.  Then, you let the pizza sit there.  You keep doing this over and over again.  The pizza is never going to get hot, because you are NOT consistently supplying energy, which means you can’t make it warm.

You’re probably thinking that this is a weird rabbit hole to go down, and you might be wondering what this has to do with inclusion.  I believe that inclusion is a function of building relationships and culture with folks, and this makes me think of warmth.  When we talk about people who show that they care for other people, we say they create a “warm” feeling.  When we talk about people who don’t show they care for other people, we say they create a “cold” feeling.  If we stay with our thermal dynamics theme, warm people are the ones who are consistently transferring energy to people while cold people are not consistently transferring energy to others.  Warm people are an oven that stays at a steady temperature until the pizza is done cooking.  Cold people are either an oven that never turns on or an oven that only turns for a few moments, so the pizza never is able to get warm. 

Here’s the thing I think we often underestimate.  Inclusion isn’t just about team off sites, corporate initiatives, or get to know you actives.  Inclusion is about CONSISTENTLY creating warmth.  Inclusion is about CONSISTENTLY pouring energy into caring for each other every single day.  If you consistently put forth effort to show you care for other people then you’ll create that warm feeling, build relationships, build cultures, and eventually become more inclusive.  If you don’t consistently put in the energy, then you are creating something that is relatively cold.

The challenge: Are you putting in the energy EVERY DAY to create warmth?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Obi-Wan and Force Ghost Coaching (2-13-19)

We began this coaching series with the idea that anyone can be a coach, and we’ll end this series by reflecting on the lasting legacy of coaches and Star Wars A New Hope. 

I’m assuming most of us have seen Star Wars: A New Hope.  If not, spoiler alert (for a 40 year old movie).  Throughout the film, Luke (our hero) has a mentor/coach named Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Eventually, Obi-Wan sacrifices himself and is killed by Darth Vader (villain) in a light saber battle.  Fast forward to the climatic end of the movie, and Luke is flying in an X-wing (think jet) and needs to shoot a missile into an exhaust port of the Death Star to blow it up and save the galaxy.  Luke is nervous, doesn’t know if he can do it, and all of a sudden a voice appears in the back of Luke’s mind telling him to use the force.  This voice is the force ghost of Obi-Wan, Luke’s deceased mentor/coach.  Luke listens to his former coach, trusts the force, shoots the missiles, and blows up the Death Star. 

So you’re probably wondering what any of this has to do with work or coaching.  I’d say that average coaches are the ones who can help you when they are physically with you.  I’d argue that the best coaches are like Obi-Wan.  Obi-Wan’s presence is so strong that he gives Luke encouragement even when he is not there.  Obi-Wan is like a force ghost coach.  (How cool is that phrase?)  Do you have any coaches in your life, where you can still “hear” them or “feel” their impact even if they aren’t physically there?  I do.  I’ll be working on stuff sometimes and say, “Susie would probably ask me to consider X.  Bob would ask me if I knew Z before I got started.”  Although that person may not physically be there, I still benefit from what they have instilled in me throughout our time together

I started this series saying that anybody could be a coach.  With that said, what do you think YOUR lingering impact is on people?  Do they hear your voice or feel your presence when you aren’t around?  Ihope they would for me.  For example, if someone I’ve worked with is facing a problem, I hope that they would hear my voice in the back of their brain saying, “What do you need people to think, feel, and/or do?  Let that guide you.” And then I hope they would hear me giving them some kind of encouragement like, “You are a boss and I got a lot of love for you.  Go beast mode and slay dragons.  You got this.”  I hope they would hear that just as clearly as Luke heard, “Trust the force.”

The challenge: Are you having a lasting impact on people?  What is the “force ghost” version of you saying to the people you have coached when you aren’t around?

Bonus: Drop one of your “Force ghost” coaches a line and tell them thank you and what you can hear them still telling you.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Coaching- Putting Effort into Giving Critical and Positive Feedback (2-6-19)

Last week was about showing yourself the same level of coaching compassion as you show others.  This week’s entry is about putting in equal effort to providing positive and critical feedback to individuals.

I have two girls, Violet (5) and Alice (almost 7).  As a parent I feel the majority of my job is coaching them in some way, shape, or form.  When my kid does something small that’s wrong I usually respond with a quick, “Hey, are you supposed to be doing that?”  When it is something more serious, I call them over to me.  I crouch down to their level and look them right in the eyes as I talk with them.  Then the conversation usually goes something like, “Violet, are you supposed to hit your sister with your ninja turtle sword?  Why did you hit her?  Why shouldn’t we hit each other?  What will happen if you continue to behave in this way?”  The reason why I call them over and then crouch down is because I want them to know I take them and their behavior very seriously, and you can see from the look on their faces that when I stop and do this the message usually sinks in..

I more or less do the same thing if they are exhibiting positive behavior.  The small good things they do get a quick, “Good job!” and a high five.  However, there are times when their positive behavior deserves more than a quick “good job!” and high five.  When this occurs, I call them over, get down on their level, and talk to them.  These conversations usually go like this, “Violet, I saw that you were getting frustrated, but you managed to calm down and then solve your problem.  Good job being able to calm down.  I know that’s incredibly hard, but look at how you were able to do it after you took time to breathe and calm down.  You did so great, and I’m so proud of you.  Keep it up.”  Just like in the other example, slowing down, getting on their level, and having a deeper conversation helps the message sink in.

You might be wondering what this has to do with work and giving feedback.  Do you give the same intention and effort into giving positive feedback that you put into giving critical feedback?  In my experiences, most people don’t.  In my experience, people are often apt to give critical feedback on a more regular basis and tend to have a little more thought behind it.  However, when it comes to giving positive feedback it is often sparse and consists of a generic, “Good job!”  Some positive feedback is better than never receiving positive feedback.  However, putting a little extra time and effort into sitting down with someone and giving them more specific reasons on why something was good is more motivating and impactful than generic comments.

The challenge: Can you give the same intention and effort into giving critical and positive feedback?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Coaching and Giving Feedback that Matters (1-23-19)

Last week was about understanding the situation before providing feedback.  This week is about focusing and giving feedback on things that matter.  A little while ago I saw someone give a presentation.  After they were done I dropped them a line telling them I felt they did a good job because they got the main idea across in a clear, concise, and engaging manner.  That should be the goal for any presentation, right?  Later on the person saw me, said thanks, and then said, “Feel free to give me constructive feedback too on what I should have done better.”  This caused me to pause and ask myself, “At what point should I give constructive criticism and at what point should I just leave well enough alone?” 

In the this example, I didn’t feel I had anything of substantial value to add on the constructive front, because she had accomplished the goal of getting the main idea across in a clear, concise, and engaging manner.  If I would have been pushed I could have found flaws to talk about regarding her presentation.  The person’s body language wasn’t perfect, the slides could have been better, and there were a few places that could have been smoothed over.  However, I don’t know if fixing these things would have really elevated things that much.  The bottom line is that this person accomplished their goals with the presentation and communicated a clear message.  If the presentation was an 8 out of 10 before, maybe fixing that stuff would have made it an 8.3.  Most of the audience wouldn’t have even known the difference. 

Your next question might be, “Well, shouldn’t the person shoot for a 10?”  Not necessarily.  A 10 presentation requires a lot of additional effort and work.  Most of the time you just need a solid 8, so it is clear enough to move an audience.  Now, if the person would have delivered a 3 or 4, then the person would have missed their objective of getting their point across.  At this point, the issue would have been large enough to talk about.  At this point, the gaps would have been substantial enough that I would talk to them about filling them.  It’s kind of like working on a road.  You fill giant potholes before you think of filling surface level cracks in concrete.  See the picture to the upper right of a small crack with a circle around it.  Are you going to fill that crack or are you going to focus on fixing the hole at the bottom of this email?

More work connections.  It’s easy to give feedback about every little flaw, mistake, and area that could be improved.  However, just because something is a flaw or it could be improved doesn’t mean that it SHOULD be improved.  For example, how many times in meetings have you been trying to get thoughts on an idea and people start talking to you about the font and colors on the slide you are showing instead of the key message you are trying to communicate?  I don’t know about you, but I see this happen far more than I’d care to admit.  #sadbuttrue  How many times have you received feedback on stuff that really doesn’t matter?  I feel when we give feedback on every small little thing, we actually give feedback on nothing, because we’ve given them so many things to think about they can’t take action.  Additionally, every ounce of energy a person puts forward to fix a “meaningless” issue is an ounce of energy they are unable to put toward making meaningful change.  Instead of giving feedback on every little thing, can we work on doing a better job of focusing on the things that will truly move the needle with each other?

The challenge: Are you focused on giving/seeking feedback that will truly make a difference?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Coaching and Taking the Time to Understand the Situation (1-16-19)

Last week was about making your intentions known before providing feedback.  This week we are going to focus on understanding the situation before giving feedback. 

Pretend for a moment that you are a coach for a football team.  The kicker just missed a field goal.  You saw it hit the uprights and the crossbar.  What coaching do you give the kicker?  Maybe you would give the kicker coaching on kicking the ball harder, changing footwork, etc.  What I would hope you’d do is first ask the kicker what they think happened.  I hope you’d say, “From here it looked like X happened.  What was going on for you?”  The reason this is important is because the kicker’s response will influence what you talk about.  Maybe the kicker didn’t take the wind into consideration.  Maybe he slipped.  Maybe he was trying to kick too high to get it over the linemen.  Maybe everything was fine until someone from the other team partially blocked it.  These are all different problems with different root causes that require different coaching interventions and different solutions.

Connections to work.  How often do we seek to understand the situation before we give feedback?  How often do we find the root cause of the problem, before we offer to solve it?  If we don’t know the root cause, it’s likely we will attempt to solve the wrong problem.

Have you ever had someone give you feedback on something that ended up being really off base, because they didn’t actually understand the situation?  How did it make you feel when they did that?  I’ve had that happen to me before, and I’ve felt frustrated that the person wasn’t even trying to understand the situation before blindly giving me coaching.  This led me to wondering if the person even wanted to understand my perspective in the situation, which led me to wonder if I really wanted to work for someone who didn’t even want to attempt to understand me.  On the flip side, have you ever had people take the time to understand the situation before providing feedback?  I’ve had this happen, and when it does I’m always appreciative of the fact that they took time to understand the situation and I’m more prone to take the feedback to heart.

The challenge: Are you understanding the situation before you give feedback?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Coaching and Sharing your Intentions (1-9-19)

Last week we started a series on coaching, and one of the most important aspects of being a coach is giving feedback.  This week I want us to think about communicating our intentions as we share feedback.  I’d like to do this by sharing an Andrew Embry failure story.

Embry failure story.  I mentioned before that a couple of summers ago I had an intern that I coached named Kristine.  She was a few weeks into her internship and she had hit a little snag in her project.  We had a 1 on 1 and she asked me what I thought she should do.  Rather than give her an answer I started asking her questions.  “What do you think the problem is?  Why do you think the problem exists?  What do you think you should do?  Why do you think you should do that?  What other angles are you thinking about?  Who else should you talk to?”  I’m on a complete roll and notice that she is starting to have the “deer trapped in headlights” look.  That’s when I realize that she now thinks she’s stuck in some kind of FBI investigation.

I stop asking her questions and I say, “Whoa, that’s a lot of questions.  It probably feels like I’m interrogating you.  My bad and my apologies.  I want you to know that I don’t expect you to have answers to most of the questions I ask you during your time here.  My goal for this summer is to help you become a better thinker, and the only way I know how is to ask you questions to stretch your thinking.  I’m going to ask you a barrage of questions until you either solve the problem or we figure out what you need to know to solve the problem.  Then after we figure out what you need to know, we can talk about how you might get that information and I’ll be more than happy to give you more direct guidance as you need it.”  After I said all that, I could see the switch her in body language.  Now that she understood my intent, she was okay with me asking away.

Connections to work.  How many times have you been like me in that situation?  How many times have you been like Kristine in a situation?  How did it feel?  I remember being in a situation with the roles reversed once.  This person was asking me all kinds of questions and my thought process was, “This person believes I am entirely incompetent,” so I was worried every time I spoke.  Then one day the person was like, “Yeah, I like to ask a lot of questions so I’m up to speed on everything and can talk about work and connect dots as appropriate.”  That one simple sentence completely changed the way I viewed and experienced our conversations.  As a coach/colleague/leader, one of the most important things we can do is share and demonstrate our intentions.  Demonstrating the right intentions goes a long way to building trust and enabling you to give meaningful feedback.

The challenge: Are you demonstrating your intentions when communicating with individuals?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

A Coach Can Come from Anywhere (1-2-19)

I hope everyone had wonderful holidays.  One of my goals every year is to continue to be a positive influence on people around me.  With that in mind, I’d like to kick off this year with a series about coaching and feedback.  Now many of you might say, “Wait a minute.  Andrew doesn’t have an official team does he?”  That’s a good question.  Besides the time I spent as the CEO’s Swagger Coach and coaching a summer intern, I’ve never had an official team or anything.  I’ve still coached people though, because a coach can come from anywhere.

Often when we think of a coach we think of a formal relationship.  For example, we say, “This person is my boss, so they are my coach.”  This might be true, but it might not be.  It’s not a title that makes someone a coach.  It’s the relationship you have with a person and your ability to learn from them.  Throughout my eleven year career I’ve had a lot of different people who have coached me.  Some were officially my boss and some weren’t.  Different people have coached me on different things ranging from market understanding to how to think about my career to how to be a better leader and person, and the majority of these people weren’t ever my supervisor.

Embry story.  I took my first internal role about six years ago.  When I first came inside I was lost (literally and figuratively) and had a lot to learn.  One of my most obvious gaps is that I didn’t have good project management skills.  I wasn’t used to running projects, so I had no idea how to define problems and get things moving.  I sucked at that stuff and to be entirely honest my creative brain didn’t like thinking about project management because it was afraid the structure would choke out the creativity.  There were a few people who played a big role in changing this.  One of them was a guy named Harold Mendoza, a peer of mine in the training department.  Harold had a knack for the project management stuff, so I followed him around for a period of time.  I’d attend his meetings just to learn how he ran them.  He was methodical about always having clear objectives, defining what was in scope and out of scope, and always highlighting next steps.  I never reported to Harold, but he was a coach for me just the same and one of the more influential coaches I’ve had.  The things I picked up from him allow me to keep things on track and get things done.  I owe a lot to him.

Further reflections.  Take a moment and think about the people who have had a big impact on you.  Who were they?  Were they always your official supervisor?  How did they help?  Think about yourself in your current role.  Who could you lean on in order to learn and grow and become even better than you are.  On the flip side, is there anyone you are coaching?  A better set of questions to ask might be, is there anyone who is learning from you or could benefit from learning from you?  Is there any situation you can think of where you could say, “I know that Susie is going through X right now.  Maybe I could reach out to Susie to see if I can share some of my experiences so she can learn from my mistakes and things”?

The challenge: Are you appreciating the fact that a coach can come from anywhere?  Are you reaching out to potential coaches to learn?  Are you offering your own time to coach and develop others?  Bonus: Reach out to one of your coaches and tell them thanks.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Coach Yourself as You would Coach Others (1-30-19)

Last week was about giving meaningful feedback.  This week is about showing yourself the same level of coaching compassion as you do others.  What you are about ready to read is a true story.  The names have been changed to protect the innocent. 

A few months ago, Bob and I were talking.  Bob is brand new to his role and feeling overwhelmed.  He’s used to being in a role where he was competent and knew what he was doing, and now he’s playing an entirely different ball game.  Bob is concerned, anxious, excited, feeling incompetent, full of doubt, etc.  When I talk to Bob, I listen to him, try to understand him, and show empathy.  Then, I say something along the lines of, “I have a lot of love for you Bob.  You’re brand new.  Everything you’re feeling is exactly what you should be feeling right now.  You’re not going to get good overnight.  It’s going to take a few months.  In fact, I’m proud of you, because I’ve seen that you have already started to pick up on a few things.  You’re making great progress and are already starting to make an impact.  If you want to continue to grow, here are a few things to think about.  In the meantime, keep being you and adding value where you can, because that’s what this team needs you to do right now.”  From there I share a few other thoughts and considerations with Bob, and I can tell that he appreciates the conversation. 

A few weeks ago, Joe and I were talking.  Joe is brand new to his role, and was in a very similar situation to Bob with similar feelings and everything.  I didn’t really make an effort to understand Joe or empathize with him.  Instead, when I talked to Joe I said something along the lines of, “You’re kind of behind aren’t you?  Shouldn’t you have started picking up on this stuff by now?  What value are you even bringing to the team?  Are you sure you can do this stuff?  People told you that you’d be good at this role, so shouldn’t you be good by now?”  This conversation doesn’t help Joe much.

At this point you’re probably saying, “Why were you so good to Bob and so bad to Joe?”  It’s quite simple.  Joe’s real name is Andrew Embry and Bob isn’t Andrew Embry.  I’ve found throughout my career that when it comes to helping others I’m filled with patience, compassion, and a willingness to help.  When it comes to helping others, I usually find some kind of perspective that is valuable to the person I’m assisting.  I’ve found when it comes to myself, I lose this perspective and fall down the rabbit hole of self-doubt and having ridiculously high expectations.  Do any of you do the same thing?  Do any of you treat Bob better than “Joe” (aka yourself)?

With all that said, I’m making a concentrated effort to approach myself differently, by approaching myself like I would approach any other person.  When I start to find myself stuck, frustrated, frozen, and filled with self-doubt, I ask myself, “What would I tell someone else who came to me with that problem?  If ‘Pat’ came to me, what would I say?  What would I ask?  How would I empathize with them?”  It’s amazing how much better perspective and how much more grace I give myself if I pretend I’m talking to someone else.  As a result of all of this, I’m trying to take the advice I’m giving to other people.  If I’m being entirely honest with myself, I’m not entirely competent right now in my newer role, and that’s okay.  It’s okay for me to admit this and own this, because this is where I am right now.  At the same time, while I may not be entirely competent in all of the technical ways I will need to be, there are still ways for me to add value, and that’s what I need to focus on while I continue to settle in and find where I belong on this team.

The challenge: Treat yourself as well as you’d treat others.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Transformers and More than Meets the Eye (12-5-18)

This is the final entry on lessons we can learn from cartoons.  We started with Pinky and The Brain and having the grit and determination to take over the world.  From there, we moved to Avatar and reflected on where we draw our strength from.  Then, we moved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles thoughts about evolving with changing context.  After that we reflected on Inspector Gadget and lifting others up to be seen.  In our final entry, we will focus on Transformers and seeing beyond the surface. 

When I was a little kid (4 or 5), I loved Transformers. I was so obsessed with the cartoon that I called family members by Transformer’s names.  My grandma was Bumblebee and my aunt was Sideswipe.  During my aunt’s wedding I’ve been told that I yelled, “Hurry up Sideswipe, walk down here!” as she was walking down the aisle.  (And you thought I couldn’t get any nerdier or charming.  #alwaysreadytogotothenextnerdylevel)

Anyway, in case you aren’t familiar with Transformers it is about an alien race locked in a civil war.  There are the heroic Autobots led by Optimus Prime and the evil Decepticons led by Megatron.  These robotic aliens became known as Transformers, because they had the ability to transform from robot form to another form to blend in with their surroundings.  Most of the time, they took on the shape of some kind of vehicle, but sometimes they would change into other things like a radio, giant microscope, or even dinosaurs. 

So what do Transformers have to do with anything?  You might be aware of the fact that Transformers is often associated with the tagline “more than meets the eye”.  This is because of the fact that in this universe a person could see a car on the road, but maybe it wasn’t just a car.  Maybe it was a robot.  Maybe it was an Autobot.  Maybe it was a Decepticon.  There was always more to it than first glance, and you never quite knew what you would end up discovering.

This all reminds me of people.  We are all Transformers, meaning that often what you see on the surface isn’t the only thing there.  People are often “more than meets the eye”.  How many times in life have you looked at someone and said, “Yep, I know who exactly who and what they are,” and then later been surprised by how much additional depth was there?  I know it happens to me.  At first glance it’s easy to take in the first thing you see, but it requires patience, curiosity, and the willingness to learn about each other to see what might be below the surface.

The challenge: How often do you remember that people are “more than meets the eye”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Inspector Gadget and Recognizing Others for their Contributions (11-28-18)

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  Last week’s blog was about Ninja Turtles and evolving with changing context.  This week is about Inspector Gadget, Penny, Brain, and lifting up those who contribute to the team’s success (because this what we need to do to ensure we can take over the world). 

In case you aren’t familiar, the cartoon follows the adventures of Inspector Gadget, a sort of cyborg, as he works to thwart the evil Dr. Claw and his M.A.D. agents.  Inspector Gadget’s body is filled with various inventions and enhancements from his infamous “go-go gadget arms” to his “gadget copter” and “gadget phone”.  Always accompanying Inspector Gadget are his niece, Penny, and dog, Brain.  Brain and Penny often work behind the scenes, unbeknownst to Gadget, in order to help him save the day.  At the end of the adventure, they all save the day, Dr. Claw retreats, and Gadget is given the accolades for defeating Dr. Claw again.

You might be wondering where this is going.  The problem I’ve always had with Inspector Gadget is that Penny and Brain don’t ever get the respect and recognition they deserve.  Sure, Inspector Gadget has some pretty amazing abilities, and he does his part to help save the day.  However, Penny and Brain are huge contributors too, and they are never seen for this.  Inspector Gadget, the Chief, and the others are oblivious to their contributions.

This reminds me of work sometimes.  Often, we applaud the “title character” in the form of the supervisor, project leader, etc. and we fail to recognize, appreciate, and value all of the people working outside of the spotlight.  Have you ever felt this way?  Have you ever thought to yourself, “Sure, they were the leader, but they didn’t get there on their own”?  The fact is that without Penny and Brain, Inspector Gadget would fail miserably.  In the same way, without all of the people working “behind” the scenes, the person in the spotlight wouldn’t get there either. 

All of this doesn’t mean that Inspector Gadget is bad.  It just means he can do better.  We can do better.  We can make the choice to elevate those people who need to be seen.  It just takes us being intentional enough to do this, and being strong enough to lift them up.  I try to remind myself that if my go-go gadget arms are large enough to wrap around a project and lead through it, then they are also strong enough to ensure I lift up the people who need to be recognized.

The challenge:  Are you lifting up the people who need to be seen?  Lift someone up today.  Seriously, stop what you’re doing.  Take a quick second and send an email to someone to lift them up.  Then, go the extra step and forward that email to the person’s boss so the boss knows that person is awesome.  It will take all of 5 minutes, and will make the week for the person.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry