Last week was about listening to fear AND the Brave voice.  This week is about creating spaces where people can be real.

We go to my parents’ house every year for the 4^th of July.  We grill out, my mom makes enough food to feed a small army, and then we hang out enjoying yard games, playing Uno, telling stories, and watching fireworks.  I can’t remember what got us started, but my mom shared a story about a stupid mistake she had made recently.  As she shared it, she laughed at herself and her mistake.  We all started laughing along with her.  From there, everyone else starts jumping in and sharing mistake stories too.  We begin calling ourselves out and each other.  We give each other a hard time out of love for the dumb things we’ve done.   It’s a great vibe.  The energy opens the floodgates for my kids to be their silly selves, and once they got going everyone was rolling on the floor laughing.  Later that night as were driving home, Alice (11) said, “I like that at grandma and grandpa’s house that we can all laugh at ourselves.  I like that we can be a little crazy.  It feels good.”  As her dad, I was so glad to hear this, because all I want for my kids is for them to be able to be who they are.

What does this have to do with anything?  Alice may not be aware of the concepts of vulnerability, authenticity, or psychological safety, BUT she knows how those things feel.  She knows that her grandparents love her unconditionally, and that she can be herself there.  She knows she can make mistakes and talk about them, and people won’t judge her or think less of her.  She also knows that not all places are like this.  She knows that not all places feel like that.  There is something special at grandma and grandpa’s house, and it starts with them being comfortable laughing at themselves and talking about their mistakes.  It starts with them taking actions to set the stage to create a welcoming environment. 

Think about work for a minute.  Have you ever been on a team where you could really lean in and be yourself?  Have you been on teams where you couldn’t?  How different did the two teams feel?  What did people do to make you feel like you could be yourself?  The challenge: What are you doing to create spaces where people can be vulnerable and be themselves?  (Here is my elbow nudge- If you can’t instantly think of the things you’re doing to create these spaces, that’s likely a sign that this is an area where you can improve)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry