Sun, Shade, and What We Need to Grow (8-19-20)

Last week was about stopping to admire the flowers. This week is about sun, shade, and what we need to grow.

Recently my aunt bought some potted plants for my girls to plant at our house. As soon as we received them I asked, “Are these plants that require a lot of sun or a lot of shade?” Both of them happened to be plants to require sun. This simple question was important because of where my house is in the subdivision relative to the sun. We have some plants in areas that have intense heat for most of the day, some plants that get both sun and shade, and other plants that primarily get shade. We need to put the plants in the right spot, so they will get what they need to thrive and grow. If you put a shade plant in a place filled with hot sun it shrivels and vice versa.

Your probably see where this is going. There are two main connections we can make. The first connection is with regards to figuring out what we each individually need. Deep inside plants “know” what they need to thrive and survive. Do you? What does your ideal environment look like? Where do you need to get those things from? I know for me to thrive and grow I need work that is challenging, a chance to make impact, the ability to touch a lot of stuff, folks who are good people that care about each other, and a space where I can be my weird self. (Having the space to be me is important, because weirdness is my natural state of being 😉) When I have those things I grow and when I don’t have those things I either grow more slowly or shrivel a bit. As a result, when I think about what roles to apply for and teams I want to join I look for those things. Throughout my career there have been jobs I’ve decided not to apply for, because I knew I couldn’t get the things I needed. It didn’t make the roles bad, they just weren’t where I was going to grow. Maybe someone else needed those vibes, and that’s okay. The second connection is about building the environment other folks can flourish in. Not everyone is going to be exactly like you. As a leader, do you know what kind of environment your team needs? Are you actively building and monitoring that environment? This is a delicate balance, because there are things that everyone needs and there are also opportunities to add in the small extra touches that impact some individuals more than others.

The challenge: Are you planting yourself in the right spot? How are you building the best environment for the people around you?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Zooming in on Flowers and Our Lives (8-12-20)

This week I want to kick off a series inspired by plants. We’ll start by reflecting on zooming in on flowers and our lives.

It started as a joke. One day I came home from a run and noticed the flowers my wife had planted. I got close to them, pulled out my iphone, zoomed in as close as I could, and did my best to take an overly artistic photo. I thought it would be funny, because I don’t have photography skills. Then, I looked at the picture. It’s not that I had great skills, but there was something about zooming in and seeing a flower for the first time like that. It made me pause and appreciate how beautiful it was. Since then, from time to time I like to take zoomed in pictures of flowers to see what I can capture. Check out the picture above and tell me that isn’t amazing.

You might be wondering where this is going. My wife has planted flowers for years, and I never fully appreciated them until I stopped one day to admire their beauty. Since then, I’ve seen flowers in an entirely different light. In a similar way, all too often we are in too much of a rush to realize the beauty in our life that surrounds us. However, if we are lucky enough to pause from time to time and examine our lives, we often can find something hidden away. We can find something small, beautiful, and powerful if we are willing to zoom in and look a little closer. Once you see that one piece of beauty in your life, you’ll continue to find more and more beauty around you.

The challenge: Are you taking the time to slow down and zoom in on the life you are living?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Noticing, Taking Action, and Creating Gay Video Game Characters (8-5-20)

Happy Wednesday,

This will be the last entry in our series about diversity and inclusion related topic. This week is about noticing something is off and taking action.

Recently, I’ve been playing a video game with Alice (8) called The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword. The game follows the main character, Link, as he defeats bad guys to save Zelda. In this version of The Legend of Zelda, Link has a crush on Zelda. While we have been playing this game, Alice has also been playing Harvest Moon, a farming game where you can grow crops, raise livestock, get married, and start a family. A couple of weeks ago, Alice announced she was going to create her own “video game”. She used beads and a hot iron to create characters and supplies (see pic). After showing me these materials, she told me about the game. She proudly explained, “My version of Zelda is different than the Zelda we played and different from other video games I’ve played. First of all, in this game Zelda is the hero and fights bad guys with Link. Also, in this game if you’re Zelda and want to get married you can marry a boy or you can marry a girl if you want to be gay. You know dad, in most games like Harvest Moon, you can’t be gay.”

What does this have to do with diversity and inclusion? The above story is about Alice noticing that something isn’t quite right, and then taking action to fix it. Alice may not have the vocabulary to express that it is sexist beliefs and tropes that result in the majority of action heroes in video games being male. What she can see though is that there should be more representation and that a female character is just as capable of fighting bad guys as a male character. Alice may not understand all of the biases against people because of their sexual orientation or the fact that gay marriage was illegal until a few years ago. She does know what love looks like, and she understands if that love happens between a man and a woman or two men or two women it’s all good. She does see that video games often don’t allow the representation of gay couples, and that their love is worth celebrating as much as straight couples. She sees all these things, and then makes a game where the girl is the hero and you can be gay.

In a similar way, we can look around at our world and realize that things aren’t right. If we open our eyes, we can see the discrimination that is overt and also woven into the fabric of our society. Once we see those things, we have the power and responsibility to change them. Alice is trying to change things by taking the small step to make her games more inclusive, because that is what is in her sphere of influence. If you look at your sphere of influence, you likely can enact change for the better too.

The challenge- What do you see that is off in the world? What will you change about the world around you in your sphere of influence?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Working Out and Difficult Conversations (7-29-20)

Last week was about machines and systemic racism. This week is about working out and having difficult conversations.

Let’s pretend for a moment that you currently can squat 200 pounds as your max and that 1 year from now you will need to squat 300 pounds. How would you prepare for this? Would you do nothing and hope you would be able to rise to the challenge or would you train so you would be ready? Putting in the time and effort to make yourself stronger would not be easy, but it would be essential to you gaining the strength so you could meet the challenge. Even after training, squatting 300 pounds wouldn’t be easy, but it would be possible.

How does this have anything to do with diversity and inclusion? One of the things that I often hear people say is that having discussions about things like race, gender, sexual orientation, other elements of diversity, privilege (especially white privilege), discrimination, and potential reform are difficult conversations to have. This is true. The conversations are messy, complicated, tricky to navigate, and deeply personal. As a result of this difficulty, I feel that many individuals, myself included, avoid having these conversations. While these conversations are difficult on many fronts,, much like the analogy where you HAD to squat 300 pounds, I’d argue you HAVE to have these conversations if you want to move forward and enact change.

In the squat example, we discussed how important it is to put the work in, so you can be ready to rise to the challenge of squatting 300 pounds. In the same way, if you want to be able to have these difficult conversations, you have to put the work in leading up to those conversations so you’re ready to rise to the challenge. So what is the work? It could be educating yourself. It could be working on listening, so you can truly step into someone else’s shoes and see the world from their perspective. Maybe it’s being vulnerable and sharing your evolution. The work could be creating spaces for these conversations to happen. It could be you making sure you are laying a strong foundation of inclusivity, care, and compassion so people feel comfortable having these conversations with you. There is a lot of different kinds of work we can all put in. Even if we do these things, it won’t make these conversations easy. What it will do is make it possible for us to have them, and to find a way to move forward.

The challenge: Are you putting the work in?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Factories and Diversity- Broken Parts or Design Issues? (7-22-20)

Last week was about the idea of a blank canvas. This week we will build on that idea by looking at factories and broken parts vs. poorly designed systems. Let’s pretend you own a factory that makes red, yellow, and green bottles. The factory has 2 large machines. Machine 1 has an issue and breaks some bottles of all colors. What would you do? I’d assume you’d run some diagnostics and check past logs to see if there is a pattern. There’s no pattern. You realize that sometimes stuff just breaks, so you replace the part and things work again.

One day machine 2 has an issue and breaks a bunch of green bottles. What would you do? You’d probably run diagnostics and check past logs. When you check the logs, you notice a pattern emerging. You notice that only green bottles are broken, and that it happens on the 2^nd Tuesday of a every month. You decide to replace the parts, but when the 2^nd Tuesday of the next month comes around more green bottles are broken. At this point, you have to ask yourself if something on machine 2 is broken or if it is poorly designed. I’d argue that it’s likely a design issue, since the problem keeps repeating itself. If it’s a design issue, then replacing parts won’t help. Instead, you need to redesign the machine and the processes to reach a new outcome.

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything. Over the past few months, I’ve heard a lot of people comment that “the system” is broken in response to racially charged events. I’d argue this isn’t correct. If the system was broken, you should be able to just fix the parts, and it would work again kind of like machine 1 in our analogy. Instead, I’d argue that “the system” is doing exactly what it was designed to do, and the roots of this design are in the not so blank canvas that our country has grown from. I’d argue that “the system” isn’t broken, it has design flaws. To solve the problem, you need to design a new system that serves everyone. For a work related example you can look at the evolution of talent management processes in various companies. For the longest time talent management systems either intentionally or unintentionally discriminated against minority group members. To fix the problem we had to move away from the assessments and practices we had always used, and replace them with a new design that would generate more fairness. This evolution continues every day as we learn more and more about he biases that are built into things.

The challenge: What designs and systems influence your life? Are you designing and building the right processes and systems to serve EVERYONE?

Bonus thought 1: I recently started reading Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America by Dr. Ibram Kendi https://www.amazon.com/Stamped-Beginning-Definitive-History-National/dp/1568585985. I’m only a few chapters in, and I’m already gaining a better appreciation of the themes and ideas that have been shaping our canvas and have been the foundation for the design of our country and world. It’s definitely been eye opening to me, especially as I read about racist ideas that started back hundreds of years ago and cause me to instantly think of things today.

Bonus thought 2: You can apply the idea of broken vs. poorly designed to your individual life as well. When you want to make big changes in your life, you can’t just get a new part to replace a broken one. You have to change the system and things you surround yourself with. Changing the design, changes the output. I’m currently in the midst of doing this for my physical, mental, and spiritual health.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Painting and “Blank” Canvases (7-15-20)

Last week was about blind driving and ignorance. This week is about painting and canvases. Stick with me for a second, because we are about to dive kind of deep.

Look at the image above. There is something on the easel. What is it? I’d say that it’s a blank canvas. What exactly is a blank canvas? It’s a canvas that doesn’t have anything on it yet. If a blank canvas is a canvas without anything on it, can that thing on the easel really be a blank canvas? I’m not sure it is. The canvas is white, so there is already a background color, meaning the canvas already has something on it and isn’t blank. The color of the canvas has its own unique properties, influencing how you would have to paint it. Painting on a white canvas would be different than painting on a red, blue, green, or black canvas.

What does this have to do with anything? I see a connection at the macro level and at the more personal level. At the macro level, when I was younger, I believed that we all had the same exact opportunities, because we all started with the same blank canvas. Over the years, I’ve realized the canvas of our society isn’t blank. Instead, there is already stuff on the canvas that we are making our mark on, and what is already on that canvas impacts the ability to paint on it. Our canvas is comprised of our history, social norms, and laws, which have all been substantially shaped by straight white men. This backdrop becomes the canvas we start with and has a huge impact on the way we think about race, gender, sexual orientation, and other areas. The question really becomes whether or not we grasp how the canvas built by the past impacts our current conversations and situations.

At the more personal level, relationships are about making your mark on another person. With this in mind, no one is a blank canvas. Everyone has their own canvas filled with their history and experiences that shapes who they are and how they interact in relationships. The more I can do to show I want to understand them, what makes them tick, and the things that shape their canvas, the more likely they are to open up and share parts of themselves. We can then use this understanding to connect better.

The challenge: What is already on the “blank” canvas? How is it shaping you? How is it shaping our present?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Blind Driving, Ignorance, and Causing Harm (7-8-20)

This week we will kick off a series about diversity and inclusion related topics. This week’s post is about driving, ignorance, and causing harm. It’s inspired by a question Aaron T., asked me a few weeks ago.

Imagine for a moment you were driving blindfolded. What would happen? Chances are you’d hit things, cause all kinds of destruction, and hurt other people and possibly yourself. If you had the choice, would you rather drive with or without a blindfold on? I’m assuming you’d want to see, so you could drive more safely.

What does this have to do with anything? A few weeks ago, I was on an area call sharing my diversity and inclusion journey. My story isn’t pretty. It’s a story of being raised color blind and incredibly ignorant, realizing I was (and am still) ignorant, and then working to fix this. During the story, I spent time talking about being raised to not see race and how that led me to believe and do things that I’d never believe or do now (Is any of that true for you too?). Aaron then asked me a question that has stuck with me for weeks, “When you were colorblind, how did that harm your relationships and the people you were with?” His question was a great one, because it punched me right in the heart, and I can’t thank him enough for his courage and willingness to ask it. I said that I knew there were certain people I had hurt. However, the truth is, I’ll never know how many people I hurt, because I was blind to my own ignorance and the impact that ignorance was having on others. For years, I drove blind in a tank, unaware of the damage I was causing, and that’s just straight up horrible.

The question still sticks with me and is something I think about often, because while I know I am less ignorant than I was when I was younger, my eyes are still not fully open to matters of race, gender, sexual orientation, and the other elements of individuality. As a result, I continue to be driven to do better, to learn more, to understand more, and to navigate the world a little more carefully so the vehicle I drive out in the world won’t have devastating effects to the people around me.

The challenge: How is your ignorance harming your relationships and the people you are with? How will you do and be better?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Backpacks and the Weight We Carry (7-6-20)

I hope you enjoyed some well-earned time off last week. Before we start back up and get lost again in the daily grind, I wanted to share a thought I had over break about hiking, backpacks, and carrying weight on our shoulders. Last week my family went on a few hikes, and we took a backpack with us filled with the things we thought we needed. One day we realized the backpack had all the stuff we needed to carry plus other unnecessary junk like trash, toys, old changes of clothes, etc. We removed those things from the backpack, because they were adding weight we didn’t need to carry. Instead, we made sure we were only carrying the things we needed.

What does this have to do with anything? During the summer shutdown I realized I was carrying around an invisible backpack filled with extra weight that didn’t serve me, extra weight that I didn’t need to carry. That extra weight was from COVID, recent events, unnecessary pressure I was putting on myself at work, the anxiety of navigating a new normal in all the roles I play in life (husband, dad, friend, co-worker), and the ridiculous expectation that I should be able to play all those roles while performing at a level like the external events weren’t happening. I had been carrying around this extra weight, and I had not been carrying it well either. I know over the past two months I haven’t been the best version of myself. I have been tired, short on patience and understanding, low on motivation, and I could feel this negatively impact the different roles in my life. In many ways, I hadn’t been taking the best care of myself.

My wife and I were about four days into summer shutdown when we realized we both felt lighter, as if someone had taken a huge weight off our shoulders. We talked about this and realized that as we unplugged, we had also decided to let go of things. We had removed some of the weight we were carrying around in our invisible backpacks, and that made all the difference. Summer shutdown came at a perfect time for me. It gave me an opportunity to drop some of that weight and reset. It gave me time to reflect on the weight I’ve been carrying, and realize that while I will need to pick some of this weight up I do NOT need to pick up all of it. I can choose to leave behind unrealistic expectations that created stress and anxiety. I can try to do a better job of understanding what is in my control and what is outside of my control. I can choose to take better care of myself. As work resumes, there are some things I’ll pick up and put into my backpack, and other things I hope to leave on the side of the road.

The challenge: As we start to ramp up again, what weight will you pick up and what will you leave behind?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Restaurants, Serving, and Sprinting (6-24-20)

Last week was about embracing new foods and stepping outside of your comfort zone. This week is about restaurants, being a server, speed, and thinking.

Back in college I was a waiter at an O’Charley’s. In case you’ve never been to an O’Charley’s it is like an Applebee’s. The main difference is that O’Charley’s has some AMAZING rolls. Anyway, when I first started my job as a waiter, I found myself running around constantly back and forth between the kitchen and my tables. I would go get refills for one table, then get to another table and realize they needed refills, so I would have to go back and get them refills. By the end of the night I was exhausted from running back and forth. Over time, I began to realize that I was working very hard, but I wasn’t working very smart. Instead of only thinking about one table at a time, I began looking at multiple tables. Instead, of making individual trips back to the kitchen, I would go back to the kitchen and take care of the needs for multiple tables. Taking a few extra seconds to look around to see who needed refills, more rolls, checked on, etc. enabled me to save steps and avoid sprinting back and forth throughout the night. This led to me being more efficient and effective, which eventually led to me receiving better tips.

You might be wondering where this server story is going. I don’t know about you, but from time to time I get sucked into the frenzy of work where I sprint from project to project and place to place. By the end of the day I feel exhausted. Have you ever felt this way? When you felt like this, how productive were you? If you’re anything like me, during these times you weren’t as productive as you could be. I’ve realized over time that whenever I feel like I’m sprinting out of control I need to pause for a moment. Just like my server days, I need to stop for a moment to look around and figure out what is going on. Rather than sprinting, I need to pause, survey the situation, and figure out a plan. Taking a few minutes to think through things usually results in me figuring out ways to avoid pitfalls and eliminate extra steps. At the end of the day, spending a few minutes to pause and think, saves me hours of running around.

The challenge: Will you take a few moments to pause and plan vs. running around?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Being Open to New Food and New Experiences (6-17-20)

Last week was about restaurants fulfilling multiple purposes. This week is about being open to new food and new experiences.

My friend Joseph’s dad is from Ethiopia. Joseph grew up embracing that part of his heritage and culture, including the food. One day Joseph and I were talking about an Ethiopian lasagna he makes. I asked him about it, and then he asked me if I had ever had Ethiopian food. I told him I had never tried it, so he took me to a restaurant called Abyssinia. When we got there, Joseph asked me what I wanted to order. At this point I had a choice. I could order the things I thought I might be most comfortable with based on what I usually eat, or I could allow myself to fully embrace a new experience. I told him something along the lines of, “I just want great Ethiopian food. I’m open to anything. You know this better than I do.” He did the ordering, and truth be told, if I was left to my own devices I may not have ordered some of the dishes by reading about them on the menu, because they were a little outside my comfort zone. However, once I tried the food, I thought it was delicious, and I was so thankful Joseph was there to help broaden my horizons.

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything. Similar to eating at restaurants, I believe there are two types of people. There are those who live only in their comfort zones, and there are people open to exploring new experiences to find unexpected joy. Think about yourself for a moment. How often do you only allow yourself to experience people/situations/things you are comfortable with vs. being open to new experiences? I know I fall into this trap sometimes. I decide what the mold is and look for people/things to fit that mold, and I stick with people and things who fit my comfort zone. If those people/things don’t fit that mold I can be disappointed and miss out on the beauty of what is, because I’m blinded by the contrived aspect of what I thought I wanted it to be.

Challenge: Will you be open to new people and new experiences?

Bonus thought: There is a lot of stuff going on right now. I’m sure some of it is making you uncomfortable to some degree. I’d encourage you to be open to what is going on, to explore it, and to lean into the things that are challenging your worldview vs. tuning it out because it makes you uncomfortable. Leaning into it is the only way we can grow.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry